He's just irritating...

[AuntMarch]

I'm suddenly finding my partner really annoying. I think it may be because I'm pregnant with our first child and we do not yet live together but the last couple of weeks the idea of moving in actually fills me with dread.
He is not at all abusive or gaslighting or anything like that but lately I just find myself constantly rolling my eyes to myself.

His really shit jokes - like making "oooh" noises and holding his back every time he gets off the sofa.
Narrating everything that is happening on the TV.
Always having the TV on. Always.
His expecting me to explain everything we will need for baby - I've never had one either fucking Google it!
If I'm too tired to drive the 50 minutes it takes on a Friday afternoon to go and see him, he has NEVER offered to come here instead. He said YESTERDAY he feels bad he won't see my family over Xmas (I'm popping out for lunch with him and his parents but will be with his whole family for a few days between Xmas and new year so spending bulk of my day with my own family) - he has always been told he is welcome, has never shown interest. Has met my mum maybe 3 or 4 times but invites his parents out with us once or twice a month, and suggests we pop round for a cuppa most weekends I'm there.

He'll text me when I'm not with him. All the time. Yet hardly any conversation when I am there (apart from the TV narrating).

Am I just being irritable because of hormones, is that a thing? Cos at the moment I feel like I'd end up killing him if I saw more of him than I do now. How am I going to cope with a baby and having to live with him

you don't have to do anything. If you're feeling fed up now imagine how you'll feel with a newborn, very little sleep and constantly feeding baby/changing baby/ caring for baby.
Will he take on any of the care for baby?
Do you want him to?
If I was feeling as you are I'd not move in with someone who was irritating, boring, tedious.
You sound as if you seriously dislike him.

Do you even want him?

He sounds like a dick head. Stop making any effort whatsoever, bunk down at your place and concentrate on your baby.
Don't live with him while you feel like this. It will not get better.

I do think being pregnant makes us look at our partners in a different light. We start evaluating them as potential fathers and life mates, whereas before then we can just bump along and have a good time with someone. What you are describing sounds like a good Mum finding out her man does not live up to what she wants for her child.

Being pregnant made me very intolerant of my partner. I sort of hated him. It was mostly at the start. There were moments after the baby was born when I gave him the death stare. It's when I would gaze at him soundly sleeping when I had been awake for hours. But he's still alive and we are still together and I still love him.

You don't sound very 'together' to me. Do you plan to live together once the baby is born? If so, all these little irritations will be magnified a thousand fold when you are both knackered, up all night and struggling with a new baby.

Hmmm I’m pregnant and I feel like I like my partner more and more. But he is lovely and supportive and makes effort with me and my family. Did you find him annoying before you got pregnant? How long were you together before you got pregnant? He does sound quite annoying and I think the disinterest in your family is very rude, especially as you’re having a child together. I’m doing more stuff with DPs family as it’s important we bond. And it’s really out of order that he’s so lazy about driving to yours, especially as you’re probably shattered at the moment.
Have you tried talking to him about these things? What are the positives about him?

We have been together two years this month (and I'm 13 weeks).
I did raise some of it (being bored of sitting in front of the TV and never doing anything unless it was with his parents!) Just before we found out about the baby, but have developed the rest of the issues the last three weeks or so.

The plan has been to find a place in the new year, maybe I'm just freaking out and looking for reasons that won't work as buying a house with my ex-fiance was when it all went wrong. (We will only be renting. I've been put off joint mortgages for the time being)

I don't dislike him, but I am not enjoying him at the moment.

I think I just needed to put it out there - to do so IRL can't be undone of course and I certainly don't want to make any rash decisions in this situation.
I feel awful for feeling like it! We have three nights away coming up so shall see how that goes.

You don’t have to live with him, either when the baby’s born or ever. How long have you been together?

He sounds incredibly annoying. I’m pregnant and nauseatingly never loved my husband more but he’s being amazing and I’m the one moaning about aches and pains, insomnia, heartburn, and all he does is rub my feet and bring me tea. It’s very common for women to find their partners very frustrating and aggravating when they’re pregnant, I don’t know why but it’s definitely a thing. I’m not sure it’s what’s going on here though as he sounds properly annoying and the two of you sound very disconnected.

Would you be planning to live together if you weren’t pregnant?

Why on earth did you decide to have a baby together if you don't even live together and he is like this? I'm assuming it wasn't planned. Doesn't sound promising for the future I'm afraid so you might need to be planning to be a single parent.