So I've been in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend, he used to hit me and put me down constantly and isolated me from my family and friends. We broke up and then I took him back but since then he has actually changed. However, something happened last night that made me feel really stupid and as though I cannot recognise abuse and was probably the reason I let it go on for so long.
So last night my sister walked past my dad and pushed him slightly so she can get past and my dad punches her back. Now I know my dad shouldn't have punched her but recently her attitude has absolutely stank, she's been the most selfish and rude person lately and I know it was wrong of my dad to hit her but at the same time all I could think was that she shouldn't have provoked him. Now I know this is a wrong way to think. It wasn't till I texted my friend that I was like, abuse is abuse doesn't matter if she was to say anything or hit him , a grown man should never hit a girl.
Now this made me reflect on my own relationship, although my bf doesn't hit me no more, recently I have seen aggression in him, when we argue I like to be quiet for a while and then speak when things have calmed down, he's the opposite so when I'm quiet he hates it and thinks I'm provoking him, the last time we argued he held me by the neck to look at him and I was trying to get his hand off me. What's really frustrating is that later on he tries to play it down and says I'm exaggerating when I tell him what he did! It drives me crazy. And last night we were arguing over text about money. Basically I gave him £200 for something he wanted and he told me he'd pay me back by Christmas sales so I could buy my new phone, I know he won't have it by then so I straight up asked him and he said all I'll need to do is work a couple of more shifts which really pissed me off because I'm a student too and knew I could only work the past few months because I'd be busy right now. I worked really hard to earn that money. Then when we were arguing he said that he'd already told me he'd pay me back after 2 weeks when he never said that to me ?! Then he calls me a disgusting vile bitch and pathetic and that it's always about money for me. And that I'm inconsiderate as money is the last thing on his mind right now and I shouldn't be bringing it up because of his situation right now (his dad is dying from cancer). I didn't even want to argue with him. All I want to say was that I was really annoyed at him because he knows how hard I worked and I never even got a I'm sorry I understand. The thing I payed for was him to have an essay written for him for £200 which pisses me off even more. Writing this now, I feel like I am in abusive relationship still, I feel so dumb that I couldn't recognise it earlier. I feel like I'm going crazy and am scared that if I leave him I'll be with someone again who is abusive. I actually feel so frustrated because I just can't draw the line between abuse and normal