How do I aproach him?

[outpulse]

I need to speak to my husband about something that will probably upset him and I'm not sure how to go about it. It sounds petty but its driving me up the wall and I'm so irattionally annoyed at him and he doesnt realise why but I know that once I start to tell him I will get angry and unintentially upset him further.

It comes down to his DIY, he insists on doing everything himself, everything has to be "made", nothing can ever be done properly. We live in an old house and it's hard to make these houses look nice without doing things 100% properly. I wanted to buy a new tv stand but no, DH said leave it and I'll get some wood from work and make one, he did and it just looks a mess, it's all lopsided, he hasnt sanded the wood or anything and it just looks stupid but he was really proud of it so I said it looked ok , he made me some cupboards for the living room when I told him I wanted a new unit, they are made from cheap, dirty, unsanded wood from the docks where he works painted over with varnish and a lopsides handle stuck on and they don't even fit properly and are not on straight but again I thanked him.

Its got to the point where I'm starting to resent him but he genuinly doesnt realise, my daughter wanted some new wardrobes and he "made" her some and when she saw them it caused a huge row where she said she would never be able to have friends over again etc (typical teenage dramatics) but I could sort of see her point. He "made" me a box for kitchen utensils and my friend came in and said it looked "cute" thinking my son had made me it.

It's all making the house look a mess, he has made a cabinet for the fish tank with a massive bit of polethyrene under it which looks ridiculous, some of his cabinets have curtains up instead of doors where he has ran out of wood, he "Made" the front garden fence which is different to everyone elses fence down the terrace (and it looks that bad that my DD told her mates that it was her grandparents house, not hers).

So how do I approach this without hurting his feelings or am I over-reacting and being mean?

Tell him he's the greatest lover you've ever had.
Take him on a passionate weekend away.
Book a carpenter/painter/electrician etc to rectify everything whilst you're gone.

I am speaking as one who has endured the same problems.
DH thought he would build me a 'games table' - that was 15 years ago, and the monstrosity is still a work in progress in the garage.

And I never even wanted a friggin' games table in the first place!

my dp is like this too! I put up with it in the knowledge/hope that his skills will slowly improve and in 10 years he'll be making beautiful bespoke furniture that everyone will be jealous of!! maybe I'm living in a dream world but I just couldn;t bear to hurt his feelings - could you hang on a bit and see if he gets better? Maybe help him - sanding the wood, varnishing it etc - could become a joint hobby????

My DDad is normally not too bad.

My DM came to see me in Surrey for the weekend, they live in Dublin.

When she was away, he made some built in cupboards to go around the fridge freezer, so space on top, and little cupboards all down the left hand side.

She made all the right noises when she got home. I arrived two weeks later and said straight out. Jesus Christ Dad they look like they have been built by the runner up in the blind school carpentry competition.

My DM sprayed her wine every where and my DD said you are right they are pretty dire aren't they.

I am bumping this, because this thread could really take off.

Oh, I love this thread. My mum once made a bird table. She decided, quite out of the blue that she wanted to take up woodwork, bought the shed, filled it full of highly dangerous tools and started work on this bird table - you have never seen anything like it - lopsided, more screws than wood, a complete danger to all of our feathered friends! It took pride of place in the garden and the only comment I could summon up was 'rustic'. Bless her!!