Advice

[Lolorolomolo]

**Her mum wants to take DS to a show

He walked out on us last year
His new girlfriend is very young and still lives at home with her parents

Her mum wants to take our DS age 10 who has learning disabilities to a Christmas show with the whole family
He hasn’t met her yet as his dad’s girlfriend but has a few years back as his dad’s colleague

He says he wants to DS to go but says he knows I might not be comfortable with this

They have officially been together 8months

Don’t know what to do.

I think that would be a no from me sorry

I can’t understand why her mum feels it’s appropriate to invite them but she does and has
I guess her reasons are not important and I don’t know what he has told them

Anyone? Can’t sleep!

Anyone?

I'd just say no.

Is there a reason you haven't simply said no? Why exactly are you obsessing about this

Do you think you DC would enjoy the show? Would the people they are going with cope ok? If you exH is there (DC's father I assume) then yes, and you have answered yes to the previous 2 questions then yes, I'd let DC go.

Its a hard one. I'm in the same boat as my son is going to stay with his dad, staying at his girlfriends home, and he hasn't met her. But I know I cant really do anything about it. I think it would come down to how would your little one cope with it? With having special needs, could your little one handle it? If not, I would say no.

I think if you dont feel comfortable with it then say no. Dont fret over it just go with your instincts. I guess her mum has accepted her daughters new boyfriend and just trying to include your DS as part of the family - she may just be being kind. But if your DS not met everyone it might be too much and best avoided.
Are you still coming to terms with break up? Are you on ok terms with ex?

No, emotionally not great (reason for obsessing!)
Was on good terms but not now (long story)

I think he’d enjoy the show but wouldn’t really sit still for all of it. I expect his dad has played down the level of need to make leaving me seem less bad.

Right, I see, she’s just accepted her daughter’s BF and is including him.

I said no but then he sent an email about it again.

The introduction to her is going to happen at some point so maybe just let it go. Otherwise will go through this stress next month or the next month.
Oh it’s all so bloody complicated.

I think 8 months together is a reasonable period before an introduction. You’re not going to be able to prevent it forever and maybe a show, where there are potential distractions for DS, isn’t a bad place to do it. Is your ex still seeing DS regularly?

Yes
It’s probably been a bit longer than 8months but that’s how long I have known about it.
I kind of agree.
He seems very serious with her and they worked together as colleagues for several years so it may well last.

Maybe I just have to trust that whatever he does with DS on his contact says is OK
Otherwise there is just going to be a battle each time and I can’t be bothered any more with drama.

*contact days

It’s all so confusing isn’t it
Such a mix of emotions

Processing the betrayal
Our new baby’s first Christmas and he’s going to his girlfriend’s

Thanks for listening