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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help with my relationship and understanding her

5 replies

ChatterNatter00 · 23/12/2018 11:18

So short story m.
I was with this woman for 4 years 3 months we had our ups and downs like every relationship but we never took a break or even broke up in those years we were together.
We were fine in August but then suddenly I called her friends toxic as they would constantly talk about each other behind each other’s back.
We had a massive argument and she wanted a break which I didn’t give which was wrong I should’ve done but I didn’t believe in them that’s the problem.
Anyways we got back together after this and everything was fine until she went on holiday with these girls.
Then we were talking everyday until I admit I did say something to her regarding a guy dancing next to her as in the those years we are together we kept our boundaries and we had what worked for us.
Then we had an argument and she was annoyed me and then we were fine.
Then she was like I can’t do this anymore and wanted to end it.
Then she came back from
Holiday to meet me up as we wanted to end it properly and I needed a few questions answered and so fourth.
She met me up but with her friends there with her also during this time her friends were saying things to me like she doesn’t love you blah blah or care for you she’s happier with out you.
But when I asked her she said she loves me.
I met her up several times during November and December she was fine we would go out and do shopping have dinner together and just act like nothing had happened then suddenly her friends got involved again and she now doesn’t talk to me.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 23/12/2018 14:04

You slag off her friends, get jealous of a guy dancing next to her, refuse her a break (how the fuck does one do that?) which is basically telling her her feelings don't count, demand answers when she breaks up with you and you wonder what went wrong? Really? Sounds like they were your boundaries and it worked for you. And you didn't see it wasn't working for her. Or didn't care.

She might 'love' you, but she has realised she is not happy with you and that this isn't a good relationship for her. Hence asking her friends to come with her for your 'proper' breakup interrogation so she would stay strong and stick to what is best for her.

Her friends are not interfering and 'getting involved'. I'll bet you a million quid she has asked them to make sure she doesn't weaken and go back to you! Dinner and shopping a couple of times is her weakening so she goes to her friends to be reminded why this relationship is bad for her.

Do the decent thing and leave her alone. OR are we to believe it is her contacting you and asking to meet? Real nice guys accept a break up and allow the other person to move on.

Heartofglass21 · 23/12/2018 14:07

She's finished with you, accept it and move on. She obviously needs her friends around to give her the courage to get away from you, you sound intimidating and possessive.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 23/12/2018 14:24

Do you have jealousy issues, OP? Sounds like you do.

To you, her behaviour may be a mystery and your own behaviour totally justified; but to an outsider, you sound both confused and controlling.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/12/2018 14:44

You went off because a guy was "dancing next to her?" How pathetic and controlling. She's smart to leave you.

oiiiiiii · 23/12/2018 14:56

Please leave her alone and move on with your life.

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