Hi All
NC as H may know my username on here.
Short story: He cheated before we married (I found out after) and we had separate counselling, he was diagnosed with aspergers, I could sort of make sense of it and he seemed way more communicative. Well, two years down the line and this morning I find messages with multiple x's on the end and it's the exact same thing ie. from work. He's clamming up and won't really speak to me but I tortured myself the first time with who/what/when and despite me thinking we were doing well he's clearly just an arsehole isn't he? We've been TTC and going to a fertility clinic as it hasn't happened yet FFS.
Anyway. I'm young, but we have a joint mortgage. Joint bank accounts etc. I feel like such an utter moron. And I'm sat here unsure whether I should even tell my friends because I don't want to spoil their christmases. I've told my close family and they were coming here for Christmas so I'm not alone.
I need to be practical and sensible. But fuck, this is not what I expected my life to be like four hours ago 
Please can I have a hand hold?