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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Im allergic to my ex

7 replies

Whereartthouname · 23/12/2018 03:35

My ex stays over every so often because his house isnt suitable for kids to stay. He also doesn't have a car big enough for all 3. Iv wanted to put a stop to this but he insists. He is so lazy and stressss me out when he stays but its usually 1 night so i csn handle it for the kids sake as they worship him. Anyway about a month ago he temporarily moved in on the grounds he would help me run the house. He doesnt work. He doesnt pay rent or other bills but he will do a bit of shopping to contribute.. (gives me money to do the shop because he "doesn't like people looking at him")
He temp moved in because a pupe burst in his house (his mums house where he lives) and flooded the house and repairs wont get done til after new year. I developed hives for the 1st time about the same rime he came back. I thought it was flowers blooming at my front door tho iv been here 4 years an never had a problem. Anyway he left a few days ago because i had enough. The hives went. He came back yesterday to do shopping because he invited his family here for christmas day because of the situ at his mums. The hives returned. He left this morning to help his mum with gardeneing and the hives have gone. He hasnt changed his deodorant in 10 years and i asked his mum of she changed the washing powder and she hasnt. It has to be him. Can stress cause hives? Im planning to move away and get a set order in place for visitation next year ao i can finally move on from him and his crazy family even tho he says ill never be able to because he will kill any man i try and have a relationship with in the furture (but seriously i want to be alone for a long time) but for the mean time im trying to enjoy Christmas for my kids and not let his family drama get to me. But these hives?! Dr cant find any reason for the reaction but i havent mentioned that they only show up when ex does because i only just put 2 and 2 together

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FruHagen · 23/12/2018 04:02

I would say it's stress related and he stresses you and so you get them.

You will need to counteract the stress when he is around with maybe some exercise, yoga etc.

It's a phase that you are moving away from so keep looking to the future and feel proud you allow him around for your kids

ArkAtEee · 23/12/2018 11:48

It's stress. You've got to get him out. He's taking the piss. Now you're hosting his family at Christmas too, while he lives there rent free and threatens you? Do you have any allies, friends/family, who can help you chuck him out?

You sound like a lovely person who just wants the best for your kids and puts other people first. He sounds awful and you will be well rid.

2018dramaqueen · 23/12/2018 11:51

Anxiety gives me hives on my chest!

whatamidoingwithmylife · 23/12/2018 11:57

Definitely stress related due to him being an arsehole. I had the same thing with an ex plus I get them suddenly in other stress related situations.

He sounds awful and I really hope you manage to get him out of your life apart from the visitation rights for the kids.

angstypants · 23/12/2018 12:04

You're definitely allergic to him.
I had the same during long-term abusive relationship. The doctors called it chronic urticaria.
Once I left him, it disappeared!! 🤗

Whereartthouname · 23/12/2018 12:28

Hes been out all day and no hives. Im just hanging for after new years. My kids love his family and him. So im putting up with it until then. Hearing your child cry because they miss daddy is heart wrenching so i dont want to ruin Christmas.

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Whereartthouname · 23/12/2018 12:29

I have chronic anxiety too but only ever experienced panic attacks (fast heart, sweats, dizzy, cant breath) never had this before

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