My dd with OCD has been referred to the Education Welfare Service

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My daughter is 14 and has had this latest bout of OCD for two years now. She showed the same symptoms for a few months when she was in Year 6, but they then went away.

This time they haven’t however and it has really impacted her school attendance.

Her OCD manifests itself as her having to wash her hands a lot, wash her clothes in a certain way (only she is allowed to do this and she will wash them again if I do so much as hang them up) every night before school, spend a long time on the toilet it the morning and a very long time in the shower. No one is allowed in her bedroom and she probably has other “rules” that she keeps hidden.

She is rigid in her thinking, and though it has shrunk her life considerably, she has her routines pretty streamlined now. They massively impact the times she can get to school however, and I have tried all kinds of things to no avail (her Dad moved out in April).

She refused to go to the GP when all of this started and we got her initial referral to CAMHS via her school, who listened to what I was saying and who could see her dry and bleeding hands (her hands are better now as I suppose the skin must have hardened). I also took her to a walk in centre on one occasion, and went to the GP on my own to talk about her.

When she did go to CAMHS, about a year and a half ago roughly or a bit more, she told them she didn’t want to be there or receive CBT, so they discharged her saying that unless she was a willing participant, it wouldn’t work.

Eventually she agreed to see the school counsellor - an Art therapist - and saw her for about 5 or 6 sessions, before deciding to stop.

During this whole time the school has authorised her absence, so there were no repercussions there. I would say they were also a bit slow to act and let her get on with it for a good while.

This Autumn term just gone they took the case up again (I was also keen for this to happen) and, under the aegis of a new EWO, started not authorising her absences. They put in place a reintegration plan but while on some days she did really well, on others she didn’t at all.

So now they have referred her to the EWS, and I have only just received the letter.

This term they have also re-referred her to CAMHS and she is on the waiting list.

The problem with this is that she is EXTREMELY stubborn and will again refuse to go. Going might hopefully help her and will also provide enough medical “proof” for the EWS.

I cannot explain how stubborn she is and how little she takes on board what people say.

So now I am scared that I will be fined (which I cannot afford) or prosecuted.

What can I do if she refuses to go to CAMHS and her attendance at school is still poor?

What other options might there be for her education other than mainstream school.

I was just reading about convictions and scaring myself.

I should add that the letter from the EWS was the opposite or supportive, even though the EWO writing it knows my daughter’s circumstances.

I have the feeling that she does not really believe what is happening. People think that it is as easy as telling someone to stop their symptoms, but it isn’t.

i think she has some sort of anxieties that trigger her OCD become worse.
the school is a source of anxiety i guess, because there is social inetractions there. or maybe she is seen different there which makes her feel uncomfortable there.
while trying to deal with her OCD i think her anxieties must be taken into consideration as well.
gp must be your first port of call with urgent referral to an OCD unit. some medication can help her anxiety and OCD.
EWO may not have enough knowledge of OCD if they write in a insensitive way to you.

I really hope you can get her to see working with CAMHS/any therapist is essential.

Thank you.

teenagers tend to listen to their friends or maybe some professionals more than their parents.

We have gone through something similar in terms of my child not attending school due to anxiety and mental health issues. The council officer told me that they usually only prosecute parents who refuse to engage, e.g. refuse to even consider going to the gp.

They usually understand when parents cannot get their child to attend appointments because this is not uncommon. To protect yourself, try to video your child's refusal to leave the house to go to the appointment. Or set your phone to record the conversation/voices only, if your child will not let you film her. I go to a number of appointments without my child because that is the only way we can attend. Please pursue a formal diagnosis of OCD if you don't already have one.

You can go to the gp without your child and they will record the issues on your child's medical records and you will have a formal record that you have sought medical help. In my experience the female doctors are more understanding of the stress that the whole family is put under in these circumstances and will genuinely try to help. Please ask for a referral to the paediatrician if you cannot get in to see camhs soon.

Please also ask your school and gp for info on 'Early Help' and see if you think this may be useful. They can come to your house and talk to you about what help they can offer your family.

Please also ring the charities IPSEA or SOSSEN for advice and whether you should apply for an Ehcp (Education and healthcare plan) which if successful could lead to more funding and help for your daughter.

Also go on the 'Special Needs' boards on mumsnet as this sort of thing is not uncommon xxx

I would also agree with people who say to look into Aspergers/autism. My child has Autism and this has to led to the mental health problems and obsessive tendencies. It may not be autism but it is definitely worth asking to be referred to the paediatrician. First ring the National Autistic Society and talk through your situation with them and they are great at giving advice.

Personal experience here OP. Identical. It's too painful for me to discuss tbh. Suffice to say the family was significantly affected by it and it wasn't resolved. If I could turn back the clock, I would have INSISTED on an Autism Assessment by CAMHS and gone privately to see Professor David Veale in London because the longer it goes on and is unsuccessfully treated by incompetent local heath care professionals, the worse the OCD symptoms can get. You have my utmost sympathy.

I had this for so many years. Does she know why she is doing this? Has it been linked to any particular incidents or reasons? Once you have that it makes understanding a little easier and may give you the answers how to stop it.

Is she on any medication for her OCD op?
My Ds2 has OCD..and autism (moderate functioning I guess would be a fair description.. he is verbal but went to special school and will not be fully independent)

His spiralled in his teens with intrusive thoughts that made him think he was a danger to the public... he is the most gentle lad ever :(
Camhs were pretty useless but he was started on Sertraline at 16 and it has transformed his life..his anxiety is far lower and while has still has OCD it is manageable...he can leave the house, his hands are still dry and cracked but not raw..he has a MUCH more normal day to day life now. He is on a high dose (upped at 19 when a crisis spiralled him downwards) ..he's 21 now and so much happier.

I would really fight for medication because OCD is so miserable and horrible....she can't help it, but she needs help x

My daughter who they think has Aspergers paces - it’s one of the symptoms. That and rocking or any repetitive movements. Worth googling examples of autistic stimming to see if she has any of these. My daughter was rocking side to side - I thought she was dancing when she was excited tirmd out she’s stimming.