I broke up with someone recently as I was finding the relationship (and them) stressful. I already have a lot of stress going on in my life right now and at times he could be inconsiderate of that in an ignorant way and disorganised. I don’t often ask for help as I am quite independent so partly it was my own fault for not asking for help when I needed it, or to make changes to our routine that would feel less stressful (such as me doing ALL the travelling to him after working long hours and taking care of my DC). I spoke to him in a kind way that we are just different and need/want different things. He’s needy emotionally and I am not and I felt I was doing all the work.
I ended things and he talked me round and round by persistence that things would be different and he would help me with the things that are stressful. He would think of me more often and not himself. I think against my better judgment I was grateful for some help (with practical things) and thought perhaps it could work. I have been single a long time and am not used to relying on another person - I haven’t needed to. (FYI this is not about money, he has none)
Lo and behold today I needed some really urgent practical help and he is nowhere to be seen, despite telling me he would be over soon and not be long. I waited and waited and now it’s 3pm. He’s got a lot of vague but reasonable excuses as to why he’s not here but I feel SO ANGRY. I felt like he mislead me that he would come over. The whole day is wasted IMO.
I have blown my lid. I feel almost like I am boiling. I appreciate not all of my anger/irritation is his fault - work/kids/money/house is nothing to do with him. But he doesn’t seem to understand that he’s just constantly adding to my stress and never alleviating it!
He now is expecting me to go collect my babysitter, get dressed up and go on a night out with his friends who I don’t really know. My hands are all covered in grease I look dreadful and feel furious. I don’t know whether to feel guilty at being so angry or even more angry.