Relationship dilemma

[userofthiswebsite]

I feel I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

I am in a relationship with someone (six months since we first met) but he has made it clear that, in say a couple of years, he will be returning to his home country as he misses it. He has been working in the UK for a couple of years now.

I appreciate that at any point something could go wrong but if all continues as is, I know I'm going to be very very hurt when he leaves.
So do I step away from him now to avoid worse pain in the future and look for someone who wants something long term, or stick with it and hope that either by the time it comes, he realises he doesn't want to leave me behind and stays in the UK, or I that feel okay with giving up secure job and property to move overseas.

For context, I really like him and AFAIK he feels the same. I am mid-30s. Unsure if I want kids or not.

I'd end it now, due to the fact he hasn't asked you to go with him.

I'd end it

Yep, end it now. You haven't got the time to waste on someone like that.

he hasn't asked you to go with him

If he had asked her to go with him, when they only met 6 months ago, and he's thinking of going "in a couple of years", I'd think that was very premature.

I think it can be hard to know for sure if you want chn when you're not settled. The fact is, your clock is ticking. Unless you're happy on your own (it doesn't sound like that's your thing), I would prioritise finding someone to settle down with. It sounds like that's not him as he's already planning to leave and you haven't mentioned him asking you to go with him.

I would also ask yourself how you feel about living abroad and possibly raising a family and being financially dependent upon him, without a good, familiar, social network.

Overall, it sounds like you've got a lot to lose here. The fact you're asking suggests to me that you're not 100% sure yourself. I think I would end it.

I would say that as a woman in your mid-30s, having a good think about whether you want children will help you to make this decision.

If you don't, you can have a relationship with this man and see how things go. Maybe you'll move to his country, maybe he'll stay here, maybe you'll break up and be sad but be glad of the time you had together.

If you think you definitely do want children, you have more things to consider.
If he moves and you don't, will you resent having "wasted" these years?
If you might both move - would you want to have and bring up children in his home country (that's a much bigger undertaking than just living there yourself).

Talk to him. Tell him you see yourself together long-term but that are concerned he doesn't see the relationship like that. See what he says.

The whole "clock is ticking" thing only applies if you want children, IMO.

If you either don't want them, or would be equally (but differently) happy without them as with them, then you don't need to prioritise settling down, you have more freedom to give things a go and see how they turn out.

Him “making it clear” would say to me that you are the “good enough for now” girl.
He has said plainly that in two years he will be off (therefore any heartbreak you have will be your fault- not his).

You would be a fool to give up your job and property for any bloke, let alone one that you are relying on hope that he will somehow have a grand epiphany and dump his life plan for you. The “making it plain” statements have already made it clear you are not the one for whom he would (even consider) do that.

Sorry, it’s an end it now from me as well.

I do not think he has discounted the idea of me going along with him in that he has said things like, 'Would you be able to follow me?' when this topic came up but it seemed pointless discussing this at the time because we were and still are relatively 'new'.