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Tinder - am I being unreasonable

29 replies

Tills85 · 21/12/2018 17:18

I started seeing someone couple of weeks ago. Yes we matched on tinder and nit met before but we have many mutual friends & know each others family members. Hence why he already knew a lot about me. I was glad because for some reason i thought it was some sort of security - not just a random tinder date. The 2 weeks were very intense & we were spending a lot of time together. If he's not with me he calls or texts. He knew i have been through tough time with my ex and said he would never mess me around. Cutting ling story short i found out he is messaging girls on tinder and arranging to meet them. How i know? He started to chat up my friend, when we chatted the other day & she was telling me about this guy shes going on a date with. My jaw dropped... he is still calling me, we arranged to see eachother again. He doesn't know i know. My question is. What should i do? My instinct is run - he's not in it for the same reasons. But i spoke to few people who say " its only been few weeks, you have not had the exclusuve conversation he's not doing anything wrong". I feel used because when he's with me he acts like i'm the only woman in the world. But obviously that is not the case... pleae help. Be nice

OP posts:
deepwatersolo · 21/12/2018 21:06

Out of interest... what do you guys think about tinder? In terms of looking for something serious? Or is it a no no...

I am obviously too old for this. But from my standpoint as the wise old >40 year old woman there is obviously a deeper problem with the current dating culture that goes beyond tinder or whatever there is out there. The idea that someone has done nothing wrong when they date and fuck around alongside dating me, because there has not been 'the exclusive conversation'? Really? That is what it has come to? Fuck that!

NotANotMan · 21/12/2018 21:10

It's not really about luck. You have to be more discerning and cautious. Modern dating culture can be awful and weird and you can't assume people are acting in good faith from the off.

Chocolate123 · 21/12/2018 21:22

Modern dating is tough. I hate the whole exclusive chat needed before you are with one person. It's a free for all. Years and I mean years ago things were much simpler I think you met someone and if interested started seeing each other. Today it's much tougher I think as online dating is like a shopping catalog. As one guy told me it's like shopping in Argos you aren't really sure what you are getting until it's in front of you. Often it's a disappointment so you return and get someone else Confused

Gina2012 · 21/12/2018 21:28

You've slept with him and got way more invested than he has. And way too quickly imo

Not wrong per se , but not a good idea until you understand what's what, exclusivity wise

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