Dreading christmas with DH

[Lellowcar]

I don't know what happened to us, i used to look foward to us finishing work and spending time together over christmas but this year feels very different. He's been quite distant since the birth of our DS 5 months ago and when he's not being distant we're always arguing over something. I'm constantly exhausted and struggling to cope with DS. We're mostly spending christmas with my family this year as i have family coming over from Poland that I haven't seen in a long time and they haven't met DS yet. He's not the most talkative person but he just stands in the corner, keeps his answers short and simple when talking to my family members and then wonders why they don't like him much. I usually love christmas but this year i want it over and done with quickly

Bump

Have you tried talking to him about his distance? And do you speak english with your family?

I find it difficult to interact with my husbands family because I panic and can't follow the conversation properly. One to one I can speak for the Queen but can't do group discussions I can be very reserved if my partner then told me they don't like me. Wow I would be even more anxious.

The distance between you two for the past 5months doesn't sound good but it's also normal that as new parents you are both trying to navigate new roles. Perhaps finding an hour or two alone to communicate about the two of you might be helpful.

Communication is key speak to him

I've tried many times to talk with him about being distant and not helping with DS but he becomes annoyed when I do and tells me he can do what he likes with his time. I speak polish with my family if it's just us but if my DH is there I'll speak english. Some family that are coming over only know a few words in english so of course I don't expect him to talk to them as that would be difficult but it's my family who speak english fluently and he still doesn't bother. We've been together for 7 years and they hardly know him

No. Just no. He doesn't "do what he likes with his time" if he has a 5 month old baby! This is something that needs to be sorted asap.

If I had a partner who spoke a foreign language it would be inconceivable not to at least be able to whisper sweet nothings in her lingo. Surely it would be a joy? Our next doors are Polish, young daughter brought foodstuffs round last Xmas, out of absolute courtesy alone I will Google translate, thank you that's wonderful merry Xmas. That cz thing though! Best of luck, Wesolych Swiat. (Can't find squiggles on keyboard).

Him just standing in a corner - not saying much - you must find that particularly annoying, especially as the Poles I know could talk for England and Poland! Very hospitable and enjoy a party! They must think he's a bit strange/stand offish.

The bit where he says he can do what he likes is rather childish and typical of a man who thinks he doesn't have to contribute anything to a marriage. Sad.