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Relationships

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Awkward crush on a superior

9 replies

faithinthesound · 21/12/2018 04:43

I've just started at a new job. The office is split into teams-while we all intermingle and work together, we each report to a specific team leader.

One of the team leaders, C, is... well first of all, she's not my leader. Different team. But what she is, is EXACTLY the kind of woman I get hung up on at the drop of a hat. She's very put together and glam, but in a quite down to earth sort of way. She radiates femininity but also warmth and humor.

She saw my socks (rainbows) and when I said they were my nod to Pride (I was joking, but I do a person who presents as female and likes women) ran to her desk and brought back a strip of rainbow colored sticky tape and decorated my computer monitor with it. She said she loves rainbows and unicorns. So when I was out Christmas shopping, and I spotted a tiny unicorn plush that was only a couple of dollars, I got it for her. Left it on her desk, wrapped.

She wasn't in for a couple of hours so I honestly forgot about it, as I was working. Next thing, there's this literal SQUEAL of joy from her desk-she's opened it. And someone around her must have told her it was me that put it there, because she came running over and pulled me out of my chair into a really tight hug that lasted (not long enough) much longer than I thought a colleague hug lasted.

Now I'm not for a second suggesting I think she fancies me. She's straight, and has kids, etc. But I think I fancy her a bit. Not necessarily in the sense that I want to date her, but... I really didn't want that hug to end, and I have a sinking feeling I'm leaning toward being a bit "teacher's pet" toward her. Anything to be hugged again.

It sounds so stupid and immature but here we are 😫 So my question is this. So long as my focus is on making her smile (in general, and at me specifically if I can manage it) and not on hitting on her, how awkward is this likely to get?

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 21/12/2018 04:49

Sounds alright so far. Try not to make any more of it, just be friendly to her as you are to others because you have to protect yourself. I mean, you don't want to look silly. At the moment, all is well.

I'm glad you've found a good job with a nice boss. Make the most of it, it's so important to be happy at work.

subspace · 21/12/2018 04:55

You have an excellent opportunity here to manage yourself here into NOT letting your feelings or actions get awkward. Suggest you take that opportunity and don't focus anything on her. People will notice and it will get awkward very quickly.

Justins · 21/12/2018 10:44

no dont make her smile. do your job. unless your job title is work clown?
Grin
I have no clue what present as a woman is? a transexual woman?
Anyway, you are crushing and it is inappropriate, rain it in. Even if she was gay and single, it's work! be professional.

Youmatter · 21/12/2018 14:32

This is so sweet to read. I have no idea what you’re gonna do but I couldn’t not say it

NotTheFordType · 21/12/2018 17:27

This sounds cute. Don't let it get in the way of work though.

faithinthesound · 21/12/2018 18:29

"Present as female" just means I was assigned female at birth and I look like a woman, but I'm not at all sure I subscribe to the idea of gender. I feel genderless.

But this isn't a discussion about my gender, except as it pertains to her. As far as she can see, I'm a woman who likes woman.

OP posts:
Justins · 22/12/2018 06:56

ahh ok thanks for explaining.

Whereartthouname · 22/12/2018 07:01

@faithinthesound george Michael fan?

faithinthesound · 22/12/2018 07:07

You got me :)

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