I need your help. I feel lost and really lonely, sad and confused about this but there isn’t anybody in real life to talk to. My husband and I have been together for many years, we have kids together. I knew from the very beginning that we had issues, we were incompatible but didn’t want to give in and insisted on mending our marriage. I was very young and naive back then and my family were going to be ashamed of having a divorced daughter. They insisted I worked on it. His family never blessed our marriage and always looked down on me and he never did anything about it or to defend me. His excuse was that you can’t chose your family. We had many arguments because of them. We had out first child unplanned and a year on I fell pregnant again and he manipulated me to terminate it, wich I stupidly did and regretted ever since. He takes no responsibility for that whatsoever. Then as years went on I wanted a sibling for my child and he was dead against it, he said one child is fine. Anyhow, I insisted and eventually fell pregnant. When asked why he wasn’t keen on another he said because of what I became from my first pregnancy. I had postnatal depression. He is unfortunately devoid of empathy and finds it all too much to care for someone other than himself. He takes after his mum. But I always tried to focus on his “good” side and on the fact that we have kids together. My family constantly reminding me of how hard life would be for me as a single mother and how awful it would be for the kids. That unless he beats me up, it would be a selfish thing of me to do. It seems that every year just before Xmas holiday, we argue over the silliest of things. Two years ago we had a major “talk” and there was something he was gonna tell me but he felt if he did there would be no going back and he just remained silent and never told me it. I asked him if there was someone or if he was gay or had some sort of issue that we can discuss because he was so emotionally distant and overly sensitive, like he could not stand me. He made me feel so insecure and never complimented me. He was very critical and moaned about everything and shouted at the kids. One day I asked to be separated and he agreed to it and the very next morning my nan passed away and he came back home and we made up somehow. Now two years on, I still feel he does not love me at all. He does not care about me. He is not very nice with the kids and they are like a burden to him. He is not gentlemanly towards me and puts his needs first. He doesn’t help unless asked and when he does he plays the martyr. I am fed up and wonder if I should just pluck the courage and call it a day or what else should I do? He is not interested in sex with me and stays up late on his computer. God knows what he does. His phone is on silent all the time and always in his pocket. I feel nothing for him. Nothing. Even when I try to diffuse tension, he rejects my efforts, which makes me feel awful. What would you do?