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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tired of my dumb boyfriend

26 replies

sabrina1234 · 19/12/2018 16:08

So in the past, I caught my boyfriend messaging random girls in an inappropriate way which is basically cheating and I broke up with him. After giving him a second chance he's pulled out all the stops to reassure me it only happened once and that he's sorry. But sometimes certain things he says just triggers me to think of what he did in the past and makes me very angry towards him. Like today he was really getting on my nerves and was calling me "boring" and I was really frustrated at him because he owes me money for me paying £250 for someone to write an essay for him and he's still not payed it back. I only wanted it back to pay for concert tickets and a new phone and he has the audacity to tell ME not to spend my money stupidly. ANYWAY what bothers me the most is today after he called me boring and I wasn't replying to his messages he said "where have you gone" to which I replied "doing my assignment because I'm boring". Then he replies with "I wanted to tell you some news but forget it I will tell Someone else" and that's it that triggered me. Him saying he'd rather tell someone else. Like what the fuck am I here for? Even after he pissed me off I was speaking to him asking about this so called "news". When I told him its disgusting to have mentioned "he's going to tell someone else" considering how that ended up in the past he said he told his friend (who's a guy) instead. I find that very manipulative and as a way to backtrack what he said that he knows would upset me because I've told him not to speak like that. He then calls me psycho and told me to "ask anyone and they would think you're psycho for this"..well am I ? Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
Knittink · 19/12/2018 16:13

You both sound about 14 tbh. The way you communicate with each other sounds petty and niggly and as though you don't actually like each other very much. In any case, I wouldn't have given him a second chance after the inappropriate messaging tbh.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 19/12/2018 16:13

You sound like you're both about 12.

Get the cash back and dump him.

SparklyMagpie · 19/12/2018 16:16

This is so bloody immature. And if he does your head in then why even stay with him? Get your money an end it jeez

Bananalanacake · 19/12/2018 16:20

Can't he write the essay himself for free.

Babdoc · 19/12/2018 16:27

You paid someone to write an essay for him? So as well as him cheating at relationships, he cheats at his studies too, and you’re happy to finance and facilitate that?
It sounds like a match made in heaven, OP.....

jessstan2 · 19/12/2018 16:29

If you could paragraph your opening post I would be able to absorb it better.

Bluntness100 · 19/12/2018 16:30

Ffs, grow up the pair of you.

hellsbellsmelons · 19/12/2018 16:31

Cut your losses.
This guy is an asshole.
Get your money and cut him loose!

pallasathena · 19/12/2018 16:51

You're as bad as each other.
Grow up and stop behaving like a doormat.
It's not ok to hand over money to get an essay written for your twit of a boyfriend. Its called plagiarism don't you know?
But if you don't know the difference between what is right and what is wrong.......

AFistfulofDolores1 · 19/12/2018 17:59

I think both of you have some growing up to do, OP. We tend to pick partners who are on a level with us in some key way, which might be worth pondering.

SandyY2K · 19/12/2018 18:02

Get your money back and dump him. He is a waste of time and space.

malc1975 · 19/12/2018 18:11

Save yourself the aggro
Forget the £250 and move on you won't ever get it back anyways

He is keeping you dangling for a reason probably financially

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 19/12/2018 19:49

Hey guys, cool it with the "you sound really young" comments - perhaps the OP is young? And is asking for help and opinions from a wider range of ages.

OP, this guy is a douche. Don't stay with him in order to get your 250 quid back - he either will pay you or he won't, and being his girlfriend isnt going to make that happen faster.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 19/12/2018 19:55

The fact you call him your 'dumb boyfriend: in your title and don't mention one positive and don't trust him days alot.
I agree with finewordsforaporcupine staying with him won't get your money back any quicker

Also do not involve yourself in someone cheating on a college /University course. You could be in trouble for collusion - make sure you arevery clear of your institutions guidelines

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 19/12/2018 19:56

*says not days

You wouldn't plagiarise me! Grin

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 19/12/2018 20:01

Ignoring the slightly annoying overuse of "triggered" and the details which don't matter, you are left with two facts. The first is that he borrowed money from you which he hasn't repaid and the second is that he is a cheat.

Either of these things on their own would be dumping offences for me. Both of them together would guarantee the end of the relationship.

Closetbeanmuncher · 20/12/2018 22:25

Schoolyard drama - he said, she said.

Waste of time and energy, end it.

WombOfOnesOwn · 20/12/2018 22:33

You really think the essay cost that much? Maybe you're the dumb one. That would have purchased a 25 page paper at the places I have worked for writing essays for cheaters, in my unscrupulous youth.

Dirtybadger · 20/12/2018 22:52

Dump the loser.

And tbh I'm not sure you deserve the £250 back. I know that sounds harsh but you paid it and I think it's a loss worth swallowing for 1. Being rid of him and 2. Condoning cheating.

LordNibbler · 20/12/2018 23:04

Oh God, not you again. People you are wasting your time giving this person advice. Just search her name and see this is a long running saga. She posts, people reply and give advice. She ignores the advice. Posts again a month or so later. I have no idea why she posts quite frankly.

PerverseConverse · 20/12/2018 23:09

@LordNibbler oh yes, I remember the debit card thread a few months back.

OP, stop wasting our time and grow up.

Dirtybadger · 20/12/2018 23:14

Oh wait you didn't give him the money specifically to cheat. Okay I take that little bit back about condoning cheating.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 21/12/2018 09:47

You're clearly both young, at college or uni. There are plenty more guys out there at your age, better guys. Dump him and move on. You'll never see the £250 again - cut your losses and get rid of him.

Whocansay · 21/12/2018 09:59

I think you've posted about him before.

He cheats. At his studies and with other women. And he expects you to fund it. He thinks this is all perfectly OK. What do you expect to happen? He's not suddenly going to have an epiphany and become a decent human being.

Dump him now. Then you can get a refund on whatever you've bought him for Xmas. I bet he's bought you something cheap and shite.

You'll never see the cash again. But £250 to get rid of this wanker will be money well spent.

Gina2012 · 21/12/2018 10:03

Jesus

Grow up

Get rid of him

Start to live life as an adult

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