Married with separate bank accounts

[avoschmado]

Are we the only couple who do this?? We share out the bills to pay, split holidays and days out etc but our own money is our own money.

No we do this. I watched my parents marriage destroyed through fights about shared money and vowed to never not have some financial independence. We keep 20% of our wages in our own accounts and share the remaining 80% on bills, savings and joint spending money. Works well for us.

Same

No you are not. Many ppl do. Whatever work for you..

No it’s fine. Lots of couples do this.... I would hate having someone scrutinising my spending. I think my mum find it odd... she certainly finds it weird that my DH doesn’t give me “ housekeeping money” but it works for us!!

We have separate accounts as my husband is self employed and draws money into his personal account for things , so keeps a clear record of this. But we still pool our money, give each other money all the time.

Loads of people do this. It's fine if it's fair for both people.
Joint money works for some, especially if only one income, but requires more trust and communication, is open to abuse
Women or Sahp should clam child benefit if not working as they get credit toward pension

Same with my ExH.
Never had a joint account.
It worked for us and definitely for me when he left (with debt)

We sort of do.

We have 3 accounts. All are joint so we can see what’s in all of them and use any of them in an absolute emergency - but we use one for all incomings and outgoings and we use one each of the others as our own spending money and transfer an equal and set amount of spending money to each account. So we both have the same spending money and our own “account” to use. Works for us!

I am separated now but we always had a joint account for everything shared to come out of (bills, mortgage, etc) and the rest was ours to do what we wanted with. We each had a percentage of our pay go into the joint account every month. He always had more 'spare' each month than me as he earned more but would then pay if we all went out to eat, for example.
Of the things that didn't work in our marriage, finances wasn't one of them! I have always worked and there is no way I would let someone else control my money! As it turns out, I'm so glad we did this as now I've found out he is a cheating b*stard, I am financially independent and knew exactly where I was money-wise.

We do this and each put half in a separate account which all the bills come out, all the rest is our own money. Like somebody upthread said, both sets of our parents had one totally screwed over by the other using a joint account so, although we trust each other not to do anything like that, joint accounts have just left a really bad taste in our mouths

Yep, separate accounts here too.

Dh pays the majority of the bills, I pay for my car, phone, and some insurance bits for the house, holidays etc. My dh earns almost 5 times my salary, so he gets saddled with mortgage, council tax, utilities. He’s lucky as he gets a company car and phone, so pays the tax on the car, but free phone.
Dh puts money into a joint account for food, clothes and dds school stuff.
If I’m ever short he just transfers the money or gives it me.

We pay a percentage of our wages in to a joint account for anything bills, shopping, kids related etc.

The rest is kept in our own accounts for our own use.

everything is pooled together in our house but we have the same fixed £ amount each month to spend on our day to day/splurges/treats.

The rest of our wages goes to bills/savings/family days out/kids stuff

You do whatever works for you

We have a joint account for all bills, childcare, food shopping, children expenses, family days out etc. We pay into monthly 40/60 as DH earns 60% of our total outgoings - all other money is our own and I wouldn't change it.
I'm often shocked that so many people think the only way it should be done is completely pooled, it just wouldn't work for us!

It seems common but I personally find it a bit strange. I wouldn't marry someone I don't trust completely and implicitly and therefore totally pool our finances. We both spend as we like as we trust the other not to be ridiculous.

We do this. I pay all household bills and mortgage (I’m the higher earner), my dh pays for food and everything else. If one of us is short we transfer money over. Neither of us have any spare cash at the end of the month but we both pay considerable amounts into pensions and we pay monthly for our family summer holidays

We have both. Paid into our own accounts and put a set amount into joint to cover family bills/shopping into joint via direct debit every month. Works for us.

Oh glad to hear it works for others too. Mil obviously had something to say about it 🖕🏻Dh and I both earn similar (him about 2k more than me so he pays slightly more on bills) so we split stuff. I pay for food, water, house insurances, dh does council tax, sky, gas&electricity, car insurances. No mortgage thankfully. Holidays and days out are just shared.

We do too. We send each other money when we need to and pay several bills each. It works for us.

Same here. Joint savings, but our own current accounts with roughly even direct debits. DH pays more big things e.g. furniture, flights and puts more in savings.

We do this. DH is terrible with money, partly as a result of mental illness and partly I think a hangover from growing up poor, so he transfers me his share of all our joint costs (mortgage, bills, food etc) on pay day. That way we both know everything essential is taken care of and he can spend the rest of his money on keeping our local Caffè Nero in business his own stuff.
Works fine for us. The way he is with money I would find having a joint account incredibly stressful.

No same here. If people think it's weird then that's up to them. Their feelings on it are not my problem

No us to. We pay half of everything each and the rest is ours to spend etc.

I think it helps that we earn the same, so no one is left with lots less

We have separate accounts and both pay the same sum of money into a joint account each month for bills, holidays etc. Works for us.

Similar here. One joint account to cover our daughter's expenses (I'm looking at you childcare) and household bills. I fund 2/3 of that and H funds 1/3 due to me being a higher earner. It has worked so far for us although we found out today that he has been accepted for voluntary redundancy wahoo! Going to have to revisit the dynamic with that in mind but as previous posters have said I like having my own money. I could not do a pure pool of money, no more than some people could not do separate accounts.