My Boss....

[Insomnibrat]

So. I recently quietly asked one of the managers where I work out for a drink. Brave or stupid, I don't know, but I didn't make a big deal of it and accepted his decline instantly without question. We're both single and had been getting on quite well, so I thought so or die.

Anyway he said he 'isn't in the right place at the moment and is sorry because I'm a nice girl, he's like to explain more, but cant' etc....cringe
I'm tempted to believe that, as cynical as I am.

Anyway, since then, he's been extra nice to me, extra smiley, always going out of his way to say hi or bye and have a little laugh.
I didn't expect that, I was expecting awkwardness...is he just overcompensating?

Ooooft. Difficult one, but I would stay well clear of even attempting to date your boss. Recipe for disaster and maybe that is why he feels he "can't". Maybe he gets hit on all the time and is happy in himself and knows his own boundaries?

He probably feels a bit bad.

And/or worrying that in turning you down, he could have pissed you off.

Sounds like the best rejection - no awkwardness! I would happily move on and be pleased it's not made work difficult :)

I think it sounds like you've approached it well and handled it like an adult.
He sounds like the one who's overthinking it, I'd just carry on as normal, the awkwardness on his part should wear off over time.

He knows you can twist this around to be a sexual harassment issue if you wanted to. He's probably scared shitless of you. Why on God's Green Earth would you try and date your boss in this era of #metoo?

Can't believe you did that. Don't shit where you eat...

Good on you for going for it, he’s just trying to be nice and probably feels a little awkward but after awhile it’ll want and things will go back to normal.

I did instantly apologise for putting him in an awkward position.

Agh I could turn myself inside out with embarrassment. He is a nice person and a gentleman, he's probably just trying to be reassuring...

I wish I had the confidence to ask the guy I like out. Instead I’m burying my head in the sand and ignoring it all. Doesn’t make me feel great and I think that by saying something your able to clear the air so to speak.

Bloody hell I think it's a bit rich to suggest he thinks I'd accuse him of sexual harassment!

You don't know what's going on in his life. I'd remain friendly but wouldn't get into any kind of personal discussions.

I think he feels bad about turning you down so he's being extra nice to you to quell any awkwardness.

(lol at the person who thinks he's scared of a sexual harassment suit...jeeeez!)

Oh goodness, awkward on any level!!! Think you just gave ride it out now.

He is probably just trying to be extra nice to make it clear it's nothing personal. And to make it less awkward. Even if it wasn't going to be awkward anyway! Sounds like it's been dealt with well. It'll be water under the bridge in a few months I'm sure

Wow. Well done you. People always think I'm brimming with confidence (I'm a big flirt) but in actual fact I've never asked a man out.

He's probably chuffed to bits. I wouldn't however read any romantic interest or regret into the fact he is now being extra friendly. He's told you its a no-go area. For all you know he could be secretly involved with somebody else in work.

But he obviously likes you and why not? The pair of you could end up great friends.

Is he your boss or a manager where you work?

Because they are 2 different things.

If he's your manager then it was a not a great idea. Otherwise...such is life.

It'll blow over.

Don't know why people are congratulating the OP.

She asked her boss out. It's totally inappropriate. If someone who worked for me put me in that position, I wouldn't be happy.

Sounds like you’re both handling it well tbh. He’s just being nice to make sure you’re not hurt/offended.

Lol brave decision to ask ... at least you won't regret never exploring the option of a relationship with him. But yes I think he's just trying to make you feel better and quash any awkwardness now. Best now to pretend it never happened and never mention it ever again even in you dreams.

Big no-no!

Be polite and keep your distance; your professional reputation will end up being damaged.