Dreading in laws coming for Christmas?

[perfectlyimperfect11]

My in laws are coming to stay with us for 2 weeks for the whole of the Christmas period. Luckily my parents are joining us for Christmas Day so I will feel like I have a bit of support but I am dreading it. His mum always makes snide comments about my parenting, whether it be that I didn’t breastfeed or the fact that she thinks I leave DH to do everything regarding DC when he’s around (untrue but that’s her opinion) we hardly have a big house so we feel very on top of each other. DH said he will do Christmas dinner as he likes cooking but I know she will be expecting me to do a lot of it. Any advice?

Too late to do much about it this year, other than deep breaths and try and rise above the snide remarks as best you can.

Next year, rent a cottage somewhere for just you and your family, don't invite the inlaws. Takes a whole lot of pressure off Christmas is you remove yourself from the equation.

Why are they staying for two weeks and also who at greed to such a length of visit and with them in your home?.

What does your DH think about his mother's comments towards you and does he realise how awful these are making you feel?. Or is he the sort who says, "well you know what she is like" which is code for I am unwilling and unable to deal with this person. How does your DH get on with his parents generally these days?. Does your DH know about her snide comments, I guess not as also these are made at you when he is not around.

I would make the following Christmas a very different one whatever you decide to do.

2 weeks 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

Have some very PA responses ready.

MIL - You are a bad parent
YOU - Yes I know, I'm truly awful aren't I?

MIL - You should be cooking
YOU - Yes I know but I'm a lazy mare

MIL - My son does everything
YOU - Yes I know. He's a keeper. Must be his wonderful upbringing

MIL - You didn't even breastfeed
YOU - Yes I know. My tits are truly shit aren't they?!

Use some shockers and she'll start to realise she isn't getting a rise from you and may well back off.

@hellsbellsmelons I need you in my pocket
Like a talking device

Personally I’d go for:

MIL - You are a bad parent
YOU -That’s extremely rude

MIL - You should be cooking
YOU -Why? DH chooses to cook.

MIL - My son does everything
YOU - No, he does half, as he should.

MIL - You didn't even breastfeed
YOU - That’s not your business, don’t comment on it again.

Be calm, be polite, be direct.

And two weeks is ridiculous unless they are travelling from a very long way away.

2 weeks!!! That's a very long visit

I have my sons girlfriend here for two weeks from last Saturday. I feel your pain.

Does your DH hear these comments?

Does he say anything to her about it?

Some other stock responses could be.

"We all have our own parenting style"

"It's great that not everyone is the same. It would be so boring"

"It's great that DH and I have an equal relationship. I really feel sorry for those women who do everything round the house. Terrible isnt it MIL"

...Smile sweetly as you ask "would you like a cup of tea or coffee MIL"

I wonder if you could pretend you don't hear her
I bet that would really get to her

@SandyY2K has some brilliant responses

I feel your pain, I’ve got a 3 week stint coming my way next year! Though it’s FIL not MIL who is the main issue.

Who on earth agreed that they'd come for two weeks? Even your best friend would piss you off after that time.

MIL- insert snide comment about your parenting style...

You- Yes, well, don't forget I married one of your children and he needed a lot of improving...

Or words to that effect..

Stock up on lots of wine....

Brave for letting her stay for 2 weeks. I'm reaching for the wine after a couple of hours with mine!

As you said, your family will alps be there so maybe just spend time with them.

Just reply “it must be very trying for you, spending time with someone you dislike so much.”

Just reply “it must be very trying for you, spending time with someone you dislike so much.”

Haha! While constantly checking the calender - "Only two days gone - Jeez"

Who agreed to have someone that’s so unpleasant and rude to you stay for 2 whole weeks?!

Twooooooo weeeeeeeks??????

I'm feeling suffocated just reading that.

I’d rather die than have anyone come and stay with me for two weeks, yet alone in laws.

Luckily my dh is very low contact with his family for many reasons. I just couldn’t cope otherwise. I’ve been married before and done the whole “in laws for Christmas” thing and I couldn’t cope with it all at all! (I don’t have a big family myself, just my mum and I just pop over and see her for a few hours on Christmas Day or Boxing Day).

Wow! That must be hard. Sometimes an hour or two is enough with my mil who likes to make snide comments about absolutely everything - my parenting, my cooking, my house, how I have my furniture. How do you manage?

Not much help, but good luck! Make sure your husband says something to her if she steps the line!

One Christmas year mil visited us early in the morning to see DS (not for dinner, my house is too small for her and all the in laws). I was pregnant wih DD (in the early stages). I was awfully sick (awful sickness with both mine), off my food and smells made me gag. I opted for an easier roast dinner. I bought frozen veg (also because I didn’t have chance to buy fresh at the last minute) and packet stuffing, ready made pigs in blankets! And she was horrible to me, really nasty. How I’m not a proper ‘housewife’ for cheating and said to OH that he she go over to hers for a ‘proper’ roast dinner. My Oh then told her that my roast potatoes are better than hers! Her face! 😂 It still really bloody ruined my Christmas though!

She tries to get DD in these ridiculously frilly outfits that have frilly bits on the arm and DD finds them too itchy! But she insists she wears them. Drives me mad!

hellsbellsmellons you're a genius! pmsl. Next time I need some great one-liners I'm gonna put a thread out to you! Where were you when my monster-in-law was telling me parables about the wife who never did enough?

Bloody hell, I’m still trying to recover from having my in laws to stay for a week in November. And I like them!