It’s over

[SquirrelsTyrells]

That’s it I’m done. My DH has severe mental health issues and tonight has taken it too far. Police involved.

We own this house together. I have two kids. I want him out and for us to stay here. I own a small business. It’s successful but minimal turnover. It can be huge whenever I want it to sort of thing.

What do I need to do? Pay half mortgage? Get universal credit?

Residency order?

Help me pls. Never done it before and don’t know where to start. Kids are 3&5

Get a lawyer before doing anything.

Sorry your in this position and I hope you’re all ok.

I can’t afford a lawyer

Do you have legal aid on your home insurance?

If not, yes you’ll have to buy him our or apply to stay in the house until your youngest is 18 I believe, hopefully someone who knows more will be along soon.

Has he left the house?

If he isn't working then be prepared for maintaining him...spousal maintenance. The joys of equality!!!

Its not likely that someone who is primary caregiver to a 3 and 5 year old, and who earns so little that they cannot afford a lawyer, would have to pay spousal maintenance, so no point scaring the OP with that one.

Does he work? Get on to the CMS website and start your claim asap. He might just get the bare minimum taken from his benefit.

Who is the main income earner in your household?

Btw, i am sorry you're in this position. If the police are involved, are you ok? Are you safe, and is there anyone who can be with you and the children tonight?

We’re shaken but safe at home. Kids are in bed. My friends are supportive.

He needs to be sectioned or leave at least till he’s better.

Not sure about Legal cover on home Insurance because it’s in his name so doubt it will....

You need an occupancy order and a non-molestation order.

Can you contact CAB and Woman's Aid in the morning for advice?

HES saying he’s coming back un the morning. I don’t want him too because I don’t trust him. I do not want him round the children. How can I stop him coming home??? I don’t want to see him.

I’m 15% frightened

Does your self employment provide a living? If not, you may need a job to move forward.

Expensive as it is, you need legal advice. Maybe someone on the board can help with advice.

Sorry you are going through this, it sounds tough.

I'm sorry you're going through this. You may be able to get legal aid, as it is available in abuse cases. Most family law solicitors offer a free initial consultation, so please do see one (or a few) to go over the essentials and to explore the potential for legal aid.

Your first step is to ensure that you and the children are safe. As he is threatening to return home, the only way you can ensure that is by taking immediate legal steps to bar him from the matrimonial home - you should be able to obtain an emergency hearing for that. Speak to a lawyer, and to a domestic abuse charity near you - a local charity will almost certainly be able to point you to a lawyer who has experience helping people who've been affected by abuse.

In the meantime, consider if there is somewhere else you can stay while those proceedings are underway. You can't stop him returning until a court order is in place, so the only way to guarantee your safety if he comes back is to leave yourself (with the kids).

In the medium term, you will need to be thinking about residence arrangements, financial issues relating to the divorce, and maintenance. But your first steps must be to ensure you're safe.

Good luck.

Sorry - one other thought. The Police will make an automatic referral to Social Services. They will consider whether they need to intervene, depending on the severity of the incident. That process can take time - I would encourage you to speak to the children's school, and ask for help. There are various forms of help they can give you - ranging from a relatively light touch Early Help Assessment, to a much more intensive intervention from Social Services. It is strongly in your interests to work with those authorities right now, as they will help to protect you & your children, and will also look at any support the kids need (such as a counsellor to talk to). It's all confidential, and you absolutely want to be the parent who is visibly working with professional support in case there is a subsequent residency dispute.