DP won't stop working away.

[bibibi]

My dp works Monday - Friday away it's been like this for a year. I work at the weekends 14 hour shifts I can't work in the week due to childcare I really love my job dp has told me to find another job that's 9-5 I feel like he doesnt care about my career. I take care of our daughter all week and he has her while I work weekends we see eachother maybe for 4 hours on a Friday night each week . He booked annual leave to go snowboarding without me and DD

He goes drinking and clubbing with his work colleagues I feel resentful and angry. We sleep in separate beds because I make too much noise He also expects the house to be cleaned by me before he gets home and me to do the cooking. He just lies on the sofa when he gets home.
I'm sick of his absolute selfishness how can I convince him to come home.

Kick him out.

This isn't a partnership.

You can't and won't change him. He's not doing his fair share of childcare or parenting.

Would it be different if he did?

Would he still expect you to do
All the cooking and cleaning? Will he change his mind about how much noise you make at night?

Is this really the answer to your problems?

Are you married to my ex-husband?

Like previous posters have said - he sees the household jobs as your responsibility. Not working away won't change his mindset on this.

No, he doesn't care about your career. At all. Or you or his child. He wants you to change your job so you can completely absolve him of all family life at all, including on weekends. He doesn't give a fuck about either of you, hence, booking annual leave to go off with his mates and expecting you to be a convenient domestic appliance.

Do not quit your job, in fact, increase your hours. Stop doing FA for him. He can cook his own meals and wash his own clothes, he's an adult.

Start making your own home with your DD because he's not part of any family.

He sees you as a skivvy to do his bidding. I wouldn't even tell him you were going, just take your child and leave.

There's no point to this relationship at all. He lives like a single man all week and as though he's in a hotel at the weekend, expecting you to do all the housework.

I was in a relationship with a man like this for almost 8 years. I kicked his ass to the kerb and I now have more time to myself than I ever did before..... And my son sees his dad more than ever. Weird how it works out.

That’s not a relationship.
Let your daughter see you choose happiness and kick him out.

I’m not.l sure I’d be convincing him to come home. I doubt that would help in anyway. You don’t have a partnership, he gets to swan about as a single person, but have his maid at home attending to his every need (you), and the wife and child front that he wants. Do you think he’ll suddenly be supportive to your career and share the childcare and housework 50/50 if he comes home during the week?

What are this persons good points exactly, am I missing something here?

What exactly does he contribute to this relationship?

Why would you even want him....The real question you need to ask yourself is why is your bar set so low?

He is a selfish misogynistic arse. Even if he didn't work away he would still be a selfish misogynistic arse.

He doesn't respect you at all. This is not a healthy partnership, don't let your daughter grow up thinking this is normal or acceptable behaviour in a relationship.

Considering that he is away Mon - Fri it is highly unusual that you don't share a bed for the few nights he is home. Are you in separate beds or separate bedrooms? When you say that you make too much noise what do you mean?

There's not much a relationship to salvage here is there?
You barely see each other, you sleep separately, socialise separately, he doesn't care about you, he doesn't contribute to the housework. What on earth is the benefit of being in this relationship?

how can I convince him to come home
The fact you would have to convince him to come home says it all really. If he wanted to be at home, he would be. He doesn't want to be. He's having his cake and eating it. He gets the single life all week and then at weekends he doesn't even have to do any household chores. He's got it made.

He’s living as a Single man OP

Wow. He really is having a great life eh? On top of doing what he wants all week long, he wants to not have to do any childcare at the weekends either!! Great to be him. How old is your DD?

My DD is 5, and yep I'm at the end of my tether

Only you can change this OP. Tell him to shape up or ship out - simple as that.

He also expects the house to be cleaned by me before he gets home and me to do the cooking
What happens when you refuse?

I don't understand why you're still chasing after a guy who clearly doesn't give a shit about you or your dc - or your 'relationship'.

I'd also bet he's shagging someone else whilst he's away.

how can I convince him to come home

Why on earth would you want to? He's a selfish, controlling misogynistic arse who would make your life even more of a misery than it already is.