Oh my, today is hard.

[Sunshineandflipflops]

It would have been our 14th wedding anniversary today. I discovered my ex husband was having an affair almost a year ago with someone at work and asked him to leave.
Our wedding was everything I hoped it would be, and so was our marriage until a year ago. Christmas has always been so special and now I am fighting tears daily but painting on my brave face for my two children.
On 27th December, all the ‘firsts’ will be done and things should get easier. I need to make 2019 my year.
Just about to go to work and needed to get this out I guess. Every Christmas song reminds me of our wedding and of us and it’s so so hard. Thought I’d turned a big corner over the last 12 months but I feel like I did when it first happened at the moment.

2019 will be your year. Head up and put some non-Christmas music on for today.

So sorry you are having a rough time. I hope this is a good turning point for you and once this time is over you get back to your 'moving on' state of mind.

It's such a weird time of year anyway, with happy couples and families all over the media and your anniversary must make that even harder. Be kind to yourself - sometimes a bit of a wallow is what you need - but then remember all the progress you've made and how amazing you are.

I had an abusive relationship end at the beginning of 2017. It was much shorter than yours and there wasn't an affair involved so it was different to your experience but it ended grammatically and nearly destroyed me. I spent the whole year repairing and recovering. I made so much progress but coming up to the anniversary of that night was awful. I felt as bad and as lost and as broken as I did that very day.
I was so scared that I would never move on . I tried so hard not to think about it but I was like You, crying, emotional, everything triggered a feeling or a memory so I get what you mean.
Please be kind to yourself. I know it's a busy time of year but take some time to just breathe.
Please don't panic or worry it will always be like this. It won't. This is just that last bit of shitty heartbreak leaving you. Embrace it, but don't let it consume You, knowing that your Christmas will be special again. This year might be tough but only look back to see how far you have come and believe that next year will be the start of a new you.x

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I have a headache from crying myself to sleep last night but one of my wonderful friends is taking me out for dinner tonight so that I don't spend another evening moping for what was. Time to celebrate what I have instead x

Hi again @sunshineandflipflops. Sorry to hear how down you are today. All the anniversaries really suck, wedding, meeting, d day etc so be kind to yourself. I felt the exact same when it was me recently. I felt better within a few days. And I know I’ve been posting but I’m having a better week again now. Hope you do soon too. 😘

It's definitely true that it's easier after you get past the first year and first everything. Chin up. Make it lovely for your kids and invent some new traditions that just you like x

Have a large glass of wine tonight and celebrate the fact you are no longer married to this idiot of a man. 2019 will be a great year for you.

Thank you everyone. I am going out for dinner with my friend tonight and sadly I am driving but I will have a small glass of something 😊
I also got home from work after being stuck in traffic for almost an hour and a half to a delivery of flowers from one of my wonderful friends. He has a younger woman on his arm who thought nothing of getting involved with a married father of two but I got to keep our friends and they are worth a million of her x

Your friends sound fabulous!
Enjoy your evening.
The old saying is
In time this too shall pass.

Morning all, just wanted to say thanks to those who replied yestaerday. It wa da very difficult days ns brought up lots of emotions I haven’t felt for a while.
I went out for dinner with my friend last night and I was truly humbled by how much people do care.
Feeling much better this morning and not even phased by having to spend the evening sitting next to me ex watching the kids perform in various things at school. We made those children and that was worth all the heartache of the last year and more x

(Sorry for the fat finger typos)!

Good for you OP. Onwards and upwards!

I've also just come on my period early so that explains a lot!

He has a younger woman on his arm who thought nothing of getting involved with a married father of two but I got to keep our friends and they are worth a million of her

Exactly this...she is nothing. I feel for you totally as we've both been through similar. My firsts will be this time next year, but I am already feeling stronger. Thankfully I didn't have a child with my ex-partner, but he was step-dad and it has been hurtful to my daughter especially. My son is an adult and didn't live with us whilst I was with the ex, but they had a fairly close relationship. Either way, I think it shows the measure of people when the shit hits the fan. My ex's parents delivered the last of my stuff in storage the other day and his mother cried on me saying how sorry she was. The last time I had spoken to her (2 months ago) she was adamant that he was not having an affair and this young woman was 'just a friend'. Both parents now know what a lying little arse their son is and are ashamed of his behaviour.

But I have just (last week) moved into my new house and 2019 will be a much more positive year for many of us who have been through this type of shit! I'm glad you had a lovely meal out with your friends xx

Ah bless you sunshine. Grief is a bastard, it swipes you down at unexpected moments