Hi everyone. I've just seen my ex for the first time since we split up two months ago. I don't know if he saw me. I cried in my car for nearly an hour. He seems to be moving on and the last time we talked he was asking how I could still be sad when I was the one who ended it. He was emotionally abusive at times and I felt very stressed in the relationship. However, I know I am a stress person and looking back maybe I was overly hyper sensitive - I have the same thing with my sister where she constantly upsets me yet feels she's doing nothing wrong. She can come across as critical and condescending and I can't seem to hack it. Furthermore some of things he was jealous abit have 'come true', e.g. my friend wanting to sleep with me. I now feel very stupid and like I've thrown something good away. He hasn't tried to contact me or do amdnymore nymote typucal abuser stuff. I feel terrible calling him emotionally abusive now.
I want to get back with my partner so badly. I've never felt like this before after a breakup. I want to just disappear and not feel like this anymore.
Why do I feel like this when I was the one that ended it? How do I cope seeing him in public? I didn't even speak to him and I can't function.
It all makes me think that I am the wrong who is making my relationships impossible by being so sensitive about everything. All my past exes have been like this so surely I am the common denominator.
I feel like I should get in touch and ask how his counselling is going.
I want to change but I don't know how. I'm 32 and I cry nearly every day. I'm on antidepressants and just feel so along despite socialising. I've even tried dating to spur on a rebound to get over him but it's a shirty idea.
Sorry for the waffle, I just need to get it out.