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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can't stop crying and can't see an end point

3 replies

falaff · 17/12/2018 22:14

Hi everyone. I've just seen my ex for the first time since we split up two months ago. I don't know if he saw me. I cried in my car for nearly an hour. He seems to be moving on and the last time we talked he was asking how I could still be sad when I was the one who ended it. He was emotionally abusive at times and I felt very stressed in the relationship. However, I know I am a stress person and looking back maybe I was overly hyper sensitive - I have the same thing with my sister where she constantly upsets me yet feels she's doing nothing wrong. She can come across as critical and condescending and I can't seem to hack it. Furthermore some of things he was jealous abit have 'come true', e.g. my friend wanting to sleep with me. I now feel very stupid and like I've thrown something good away. He hasn't tried to contact me or do amdnymore nymote typucal abuser stuff. I feel terrible calling him emotionally abusive now.

I want to get back with my partner so badly. I've never felt like this before after a breakup. I want to just disappear and not feel like this anymore.

Why do I feel like this when I was the one that ended it? How do I cope seeing him in public? I didn't even speak to him and I can't function.

It all makes me think that I am the wrong who is making my relationships impossible by being so sensitive about everything. All my past exes have been like this so surely I am the common denominator.

I feel like I should get in touch and ask how his counselling is going.

I want to change but I don't know how. I'm 32 and I cry nearly every day. I'm on antidepressants and just feel so along despite socialising. I've even tried dating to spur on a rebound to get over him but it's a shirty idea.

Sorry for the waffle, I just need to get it out.

OP posts:
falaff · 17/12/2018 22:16

Sorry my phone is terrible...hopefully you can get over the typos. I'm embarrassed about posting all of this but I feel like I need an anonymous hand hold and to talk it through. People in real life are either sick of me going on about it or know my ex.

OP posts:
falaff · 18/12/2018 01:15

Anyone? Any advice for how to go forward when you live in the same place? Should I meet up with him and try and clear the air? I don't want the anxiety of bumping into him but I don't want to move either.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 18/12/2018 02:44

Oh you poor thing, bless you.

It strikes me that you are facing up to your own shortcomings and that can only be a good thing.

I honestly don't know if you and ex will get back together or even if it would work but perhaps you could have a chat with him. That wouldn't hurt as long as you don't have great expectations.

Things will get better I promise.

Flowers
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