Working out how often 2yo should stay at Dad's

[dontpointatme]

My husband and I are splitting up, but in the most amicable way possible (hopefully). He's found a house to move to and now comes the decision about when he has our 2yo DD.

Having never been in this situation before, and knowing that the PC thing is a 50/50 split, what arrangements do you have if you have a little one like this? She's very much all for me rather than him if we're together (as I work part time currently so she has most time with me), and obviously I want them to have the very best relationship possible, but I don't want her to feel like she's being taken away from me. However he is her dad. How to you reconcile this? Is two nights a week enough? Am I just being selfish only saying two? Would she cope with more than that? Do we start with two and go up from there if she's happy?

How the hell do you decide all this stuff? I feel like I need a grown up to make these decisions for me, but apparently I am that grown up...

I think two nights at this stage would be fine.
My DD stayed with her dad on a Wednesday, collect from school and drop off at school in a morning.

Then collect again on a Saturday morning until Sunday dinner time. I know many parents who alternate Friday and Saturday nights, just to ensure both parents have a Saturday night free.

Then extra during summer holidays, Easter, Christmas etc, or when Exdp has time off work. Which can be arranged at the time. I think it’s important to make allowances for “events” though (parties, holidays, family occasions etc (for DD to) and just say you will agree these (x) number of weeks in advance. But if your living close to each other this should be manageable.

One of my friends also had her exDH collect from nursery an additional evening, but this was just tea (whilst she worked late) and her DD was then dropped off before bed.