Christmas alone

[FlyingSaucers111]

I’ll cut a long story short. Husband and I broke up a few months back, last month decided to try again, last night he tells me it’s not working for him, he doesn’t love me anymore and it’s over for good. We will still have to live in the same house due to finances and his kids etc.
I used to love Christmas, the romance and “magic” of it. But now I’m facing my first Christmas in over 6 years alone. He will be here Christmas Day, as will his kids, and I don’t know how I can force a smile and cook Christmas dinner when I’m absolutely heartbroken and completely alone.

Sorry I just needed to get this out, I’m an absolute wreck atm.

Sorry to hear this. It must be very difficult having to stay in the same house. Have you got any family or close friends you can spend Christmas with instead?
It’s my first Christmas without my ex husband after I found out he was having an affair almost a year ago. We had been together 20 years, married 13. It would also be our anniversary tomorrow so I am trying to ‘get theough’ a time of year i’ve always loved, for our children’s sake. I also have to say goodbye to them on Xmas evening while they go to him, which is going to be horrible.
I am spending the day with my parents so that when hey go, I am not alone.
If his kids are not your kids, I would seriously try’s nd find somewhere else to be on Xmas day x

Sorry about all the typo’s-fat fingers!

I'm sorry about that.

Don't do it. Spend the day with loved ones.

So he doesn’t want to be with you but he wants you to make Christmas dinner for ho mans his kids?? Hell no! I’d go literally anywhere else I could to be away from him.

Thank you for your replies. It helps to know I’m not alone!

I’m stuck here for Christmas this year :( my family are all going away, at least here I’ll be in my own bed.

If your family are going away, could you stay in one of their homes? I would rather do that than stay with an ex.

I’m not sure I could stay in an empty house. It would also mean telling them about the breakup which I really don’t want to do just before Christmas!

I’m spending Christmas alone, literally alone so I sympathise. But the idea of forcing yourself to be with him and his kids AND cook the Christmas dinner sounds crazy to me. In fact it’s a big no, no. Why should you put on a brave face and put yourself out for someone who isn’t interested in you and doesn’t want you? Just no.

Ideally you want the place to yourself. But I’m guessing that’s not really on the table. So how about friends? Someone close you can confide in. And if not how about a short break away over the festive period. It needn’t cost the earth.

And if you’re a little flush with the cash treat yourself to a nice holiday somewhere. Warmer climate. Cake. Because well, it’s cake.

His kids? Not our kids?

You’re not obliged to cook for him and his kids you know, especially as he has dumped you the week before Christmas.

Yeah, fuck that. I reckon you’d look back and regret spending Christmas there and cooking for them all. Go somewhere, anywhere else. Hotel?

Do not cook for them all - that's a recipe for utter misery for you. Go and do something else during the day - depending on where you are, you won't be the only one doing something different - even if you'd rather be in your own bed at night. Good luck and commiserations.

Yeah his kids. I’ve been around since before the youngest was born, I’ve always tried to do my best by them. I just want them to have a good Christmas. They’ll not get one at their mums, and they love this time of year. So excited bless them.

A trip away sounds perfect, but no spare cash :( maybe the weather won’t be too awful and I can go for a nice walk.

Sorry for you OP, my ex had kids too and if I were in your situation, I think I'd just bite the bullet and cook, the day will be over in no time and pretty busy too. After that, go back to doing your own thing but make him tell them the situation so that they are aware for next time.

It's my first Xmas alone too though I'll be with my immediate family. My relationship imploded this time last year so the way I see it, it will be bittersweet with the memories but a far better situation than when I was with him in a couple. I'm sure you'll feel that way soon enough.

Tell your family, you need their support.