Looks or personality

[Racmactac]

For background I have to say I left a relationship over a year ago and I've come to realise it was quite controlling and he has behaved horrendously towards me since we split. Hence my judgment is clearly not great.

I have become quite close to someone that I have known for a while. He is kind and caring, he makes me laugh, we get on extremely well, he has a job, his own house and is solvent and fairly popular locally.

But here's the thing he is 10 years older than me and just not that attractive.

Now I know how shallow that sounds believe me I know how horrible it makes me sound.

I want to think that looks don't matter, that as we grow old we all lose our looks and what we should strive for is a mutual understanding and care.

I keep going over and over my thoughts and feel awful about how I feel. I care about him a great deal and I just don't know what to do.

I think a bit of both, you have to have that initial spark to be interested to start with then you stay for personality etc :)

It's not shallow to want physical attraction. It's fairly crucial.

If you don't find him attractive, then all the rest isn't going to be enough. Well, it wouldn't be for me.

How about looking for bachelor number 3, who is a decent fun guy and you want to shag him senseless?