Anyone got a chin-up going spare? (or even a most un-MNy hug?)

[ribots]

(NC'd) I have had to contact my ex for something. And I'm going to have to see him about it as well.

And after weeks/months of slowly getting over him, all the emotion is now flooding back and I am just feeling 100% shit. He ended things and I never got (will never get) a reason for that which doesn't make me feel awful. All the "he didn't deserve you" etc in the world doesn't make me feel less upset about it all.

And this meeting is likely to be the last time I ever see him in my life, so that has its own kind of sad (but also useful) finality too, even though I know it's well over. He's moved on, but I am still grieving and confused and regretful.

I just feel all churned up inside again, and it sucks.

Hey, chin up :)

I don’t know why you think you’ll never see him again (in my experience, exes turn up when you least expect it - I once bumped into 3 of mine at a party ) but if he has caused you all this pain, surely that’s a good thing?

You may even find, when you see him, that he’s faintly disappointing looking, just an ordinary bloke. Try not to read too much into anything. And have something to look forward to after the meeting - it also helps if you can say you have to go, you need to be at (insert exciting event here). Is there someone who can meet you afterwards?

It really is a shame that you had to see him, it resets the clock somewhat doesn't it back to near raw first broken up days by the sounds of it? How long has it been since the split? Be gentle on yourself. And most definitely have an unMN hug from me. Use this last meeting to make it the fresh start you need.

I was immensely cheered up just to have a reply from someone called "Assburgers" for one thing, thank you!

I don’t know why you think you’ll never see him again
He moved away and our only mutual friends live overseas. There is zero reason for either of us to ever be in the other's towns now.

Unfortunately we're meeting on a lunch break so he knows full well I am heading back to the office. And he also knows I have a very quiet (non-existent really) social life so for me to be doing Exciting Things would come across as bullshit anyway. I only really have one friend and she's away till the weekend (when I am seeing her thank god, I might crumble if I don't)

it resets the clock somewhat doesn't it back to near raw first broken up days by the sounds of it? How long has it been since the split?

That is exactly what it feels like.

It's been several months, but some of the circumstances (me, basically) meant I was absolutely floored by it and I am trying to work through that now. Of course I am sabotaging that because I constantly lay a guilt trip on myself for being so pathetic/useless about it too, alongside my "normal" (not normal) rock bottom self-esteem.

And most definitely have an unMN hug from me. Use this last meeting to make it the fresh start you need.

Thank you

I am dreading Christmas, absolutely dreading it. I am going to do whatever I have to to just get through it and out the other side.

But you do have things to look forward to. There will be a time when you are completely over him, and you are inching towards it all the time.

You know that feeling of relief you get after a dreaded event, like a funeral... or a smear test just get through it & you’ll feel better afterwards. Then you’ve got the weekend & time with your friend. And yes, Christmas might not be the one you had planned, but who says it can’t be good anyway?

There will be a time when you are completely over him, and you are inching towards it all the time.

Thank you. That little sentence helps more than you know.

Deed is done. He was looking every bit as gorgeous as ever (unfortunately), although I managed to hold it together till I left (mostly). Fuck I miss him SO MUCH.

I've got loads of work to do so could use that to work at doublespeed over Christmas with nobody else hassling me and then enter 2019 with a clean desk and mind. Or I could just watch TV all day and night and not shower for 3 days...