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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So confused by my feelings

3 replies

Everybodylovesablankie · 17/12/2018 12:28

This is only my second post so please bear with me. I wasn’t going to post but feel like I’m going out my mind and need someone to help me make sense of my feelings. I will try not to go on too much but also not leave out anything that might be relevant. I got married young (18) and had 3 kids, he was my first and we got on ok but there was nothing special about our relationship and it fizzled out by mutual agreement. I had the odd date here and there but never felt interested in anyone at all. Had a few nights out with some gay friends and had a couple of experiences with women, which felt “right” for want of a better word. Never a proper relationship because I was single mum to 3 and working full time so barely went out. I did meet a girl who I really liked and decided it was time to come out to my family, but they all just dismissed it out of hand and basically wouldn’t hear me speak. From then on there were anti gay comments at every turn and me being told I was too inexperienced and therefore confused and didn’t know what I was talking about. After a couple of years I started to date a friends brother, he makes me laugh and we get on well enough most of the time. We have been together 10 years and have a lovely little boy of 7. But it’s like living with my brother, I am not interested in a sex life with him at all. I feel so guilty, I crave closeness and love and affection but whenever I get into a relationship I never feel those things. What’s wrong with me? My partner has asked me if I am gay, just out of the blue, because we never have sex I guess. I didn’t know how to answer because I don’t know what I am, just that I’m lost. It’s hard to get it to make sense in a post, apologies if this rambles on, I don’t know what I’m hoping for out of this post but actually writing it down has helped a little.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 17/12/2018 12:33

Tbh with you it does sound as if you're probably gay. You've touched on it and had the big family rebuff so it's scared you a bit.

There's no shame in being gay either, acknowledging that might make you a whole lot happier.

I can't advise you on what to do about it though. Ideally you should end your relationship and find out who you are but I know that's not always the simple thing it sounds.

Everybodylovesablankie · 17/12/2018 13:13

@gamerchick thank you for replying. I’m not ashamed, it’s more that I just feel so bloody alone, I have no one to talk to at all. Its difficult with my family, even more so since my mum died as my dad and brothers really wouldn’t understand or even listen. Feel like I’m living someone else’s life it’s almost like I’m in a play or something, just want to feel like I belong somewhere and with someone if that makes any sense

OP posts:
Everybodylovesablankie · 17/12/2018 14:18

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
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