Fed up of hearing about DH work colleague

[Torngirl]

DH is a Police Officer. His work Partner is so attractive she could be a Super model (and I am not kidding). I'm fed up. My first husband cheated on me relentlesly and I know this affects my judgment. She is having problems in her relationship, and is showing my DH the text messages between her and her Partner and asking for his advice. They seem to confide in each other all the time. He talks about this at the dinner table and I am wanting to put my shutters up. Talk me down.

I believe (from a police officer friend) that there is a big problem with affairs in the police. It's very tough on you if they're together all the time but they are confiding in each other like this. What does he say about this?

Can't you just say that you're not interested in hearing about it and tell him you think it's massively inappropriate? Does she not have actual friends to confide in?

Well I don't think your judgement is off, I'd be worried about that too. Have you told him it bothers you?

I had heard within the police a lot of people did have affairs. That said I have two friends who are police officers and happily married to each other.

I think the fact that he’s sharing this with you is good as he’s being open. But maybe you ought to express to him that their closeness worries you.

Why do you have to be talked down ?

You know what mentionitis is, right ?

Mentionitis.

God he's such an idiot if he feels that talking to you about her is fine. He's really not in tune with you

Affairs in the police are rife. I know, I was in the job for several years and many of my friends still are. Affairs are normalised and accepted. It's not right, but it's how it is, I'm afraid

We don't know if your husband is cheating, this all may be very innocent, but something has made you concerned about this situation. Look out for an increase in over time/gym before or after work/extra nights out.

Look for him suddenly stopping mentioning her

I was married to a police officer. He had an affair and this is exactly how it started. He told me himself they were "all at it" and than joined in the cheating himself. I suspected it from the start and confronted him but he denied it. He told me I was mad. Laughed in my face. He later admitted it when the evidence was undeniable.

Sorry, I know this won't ease your mind at all. A combination of shifts, late nights, closely working with his "new recruit" was to much temptation for him. He even told me that her fiancé suspected them of cheating! Maybe he was trying to put me off the scent?

The affair was discovered. I told him to get out. They were both shamed at work. It was short lived. My heart was shattered. We were divorced. My home was repossessed. I had to declare bankruptcy. All fir a few seedy months of sex.

My gut was right. You know the signs. Trust your instinct.