Sex drive after having a baby.

[MustBeAWeasly]

NC because apparently even an anonymous profile online can be embarrassing 🙄

I have a 7 month old dd, been with my DH 5 years married 2. We have a great marriage, some of the usual arguments, housework ect but really nothing major and we've coped with a new baby and my PND and coming out the other side of adjusting to a baby.
I had a great birth but a second degree tear and really struggled to have sex after the birth. We didn't manage to do it for 3 months and it wasn't pain free until about 5 months.
I still have the occasional sharp pain but it's getting there.

The problem is how much I actually want to do it. I'm genuinely not fussed anymore, I still find DH attractive and when we do it I enjoy it but I just don't have any of those old urges to do anything anymore.
Some days I'm not even that interested in having a cuddle.

I'm tired and I'm breastfeeding so I know that plays a part in it but I miss the intamacy. I miss actually wanting the intamacy, before ttc we would do it two or three times a week. Now it's probably once every 10 days or when it gets to the point where I feel I really should do it and then I do enjoy it and we're always closer afterwards but tbh I could just as well leave it.

Will I ever get it back 😔

Just to point out DH is super supportive, he tries it on daily but can't blame him for that one. And when I say no he backs down immediately

Didn't want to read and run.
I'm the same, sadly though we don't have sex till 1 year and now it's rare because of how sensitve to sickness I've been since the birth. Alot of the time I'm either feeling unwell or just really not in the mood. He is so paitent but I miss wanting to do it....
Though most people tell me it's a matter of effort + time+ space. A little bit of effort( a back rub. A bath etc.) + actually having time to do it and not being to stressed and hard on yourself to push it + space for yourself, from the baby where you are you and not mum x

Have your periods come back yet? I swear I'm like a wild animal when I'm ovulating, so notice the difference now I'm not ovulating at all.

I think having a head filled with baby stuff has suppressed my appetite too. We're a long way from every 10 days at the moment!

If I have ten minutes spare I think only of sleep. Sex is way down the list! Plus the baby is with us all the time so I don’t see how we could do it anyway?

My dc is nearly two now and I very rarely want sex. It's not exactly uncomfortable but it doesn't feel the same. Think I'm also scared of getting pregnant again.
We do kiss and cuddle a lot and are very close though. I feel like a should be worried about it but I just cba.

Just reread, every ten days and you enjoy it! That's great!

Periods haven't come back and I'm still feeding multiple times day and night so pretty nackered. I would of thought I'd still want it even if I was too tired to do it? That's how it used to be.
Other than night wakings she's a very easy going baby goes to bed at 7 and sleeps all evening has three hour naps in the day. so no issues with time.
I'm just totally meh about the whole thing. The 10 days is just when it gets to the point where I think OK we really should have sex now! And just do it.
We Co sleep but that isn't an issue last time we just did it in the hall 😂

Breastfeeding sometimes suppressed your sex drive, have your periods returned yet? It might get better then

Feeding your bodies hormons also change from "I need to reproduce let's have sex! " to "I need to keep this child alive". The hormonal change is similar to that of menopause which is why women get low libido then too. I think once you stop feeding it'll get back on track. That's what I hope x

Why were you having sex while it hurt?

My mind is always on dd! Dh seems to be able to switch off from her but I can't. So she needs to be sleeping for me to even consider it. No periods so I'm hoping it's just the breastfeeding but I want to do that for at least a year so looks like we'll be having this issue for awhile!

I wasn't doing it while it hurt we managed slow careful sex at 3 months then my hv said my stitches were fine and maybe I was just tense. So we kept trying and just stopped as soon as it hurt.