I want to scream at him to shut up

[Booksandwine80]

Does anyone else’s other half just not shut up?

He “witters on” all the bloody time.

He’s constantly going over plans/gifts we need to buy for Christmas, who we need to arrange to see....it’s bloody overwhelming and stressing me out.

I’ve been so busy the last few weeks, but I’m very lucky to finish work for Christmas tomorrow so will have more time to sort things (in between entertaining a toddler!)

He’s driving me crazy and I’ve asked him to tone it down but he just takes offence

Has he always been like this, or is it worse than usual? For a lot of people wittering on out loud is a way of releasing stress - they are just giving voice to the thoughts going round and round in their head.

However, for other people, constant chatter is a way of dominating the space - they are constantly filling the airways. I grew up with someone like this - when she has nothing to say she just says "Errrr" in this loud, flat tone to stop anyone else speaking until she can pick up again. It is actually weirdly aggressive.

Do you get a sense of what is behind his behaviour? Is it getting worse or staying steady?

This is me :( I sometimes really don't know when to stop talking, I don't know why I do it, but I know it annoys people.

Do you not talk much yourself? Sometimes I feel like I am talking a lot because my husband is quite quiet so I'm kind of filling in the silence. I know it's not necessary, but being married to a quiet person can be so lonely sometimes.

Get some headphones and put them on every time he's like this. He will soon get the message.

If headphones are inappropriate then start deep breathing and count slowly out loud or close your eyes as in meditation so you can focus on your " zen meditation" to drown him out.

It has a brilliant effect even on moaners, whingers and angry outbursts..try it and see

I’d quite like DH to be a bit more like this to be honest ....... Christmas doesn’t seem to be on his radar just yet

Tell him to shut up and write a list. Him telling you what he needs to do is taking up your headspace. Walk away when he starts wittering.

Do you have DC together?

Imagine if the boot was on the other foot.

"I like to chat a lot - my husband just told me to shut up/put on head phones/closed his eyes to meditate. Is this ok?"

No. It's not ok. He is your husband, not the enemy. Talk to him.

@Hisaishi

I didn’t suggest doing any of those things, if you read my post properly you will understand that it’s not “just talking”.

If you’ve nothing constructive to say, scroll past

books I'm not addressing you, I'm addressing the other posters and their 'advice'.

OP

You just came for a rant and maybe some advice so don’t listen to the pointless posters.

I’d say you sound very stressed.. tis the season. It might not be what you want or the best advice.. but breathe! Have a nice hot bath. Let dh ramble on, it’s probably his way of dealing. Who cares.

Get yourself relaxed.

This sounds annoying. We've been doing some work on the house lately so we tend to agree when we're going to have a chat about it and what needs doing. As we'd be talking about it all of the time. Also it might help to have a shared organisation system. Like trello or wunderlist or even a calendar / to do list on the fridge.

Im like this and my dh switches off. All i want is some support