Sorry if this drags!!
My 'friend with benefits' & I have been having sex approx twice a week for 14 months now.
We both made it clear that it would only be sex as both just out of 9/10 Yr. relationships when we started.
We messaged all day every day and feelings started to develop, he started staying after sex for a couple of hours just chilling & cuddling and then after about 7 months, he told me he loved me. I said it back but then he said we needed to stop seeing each other as he was adamant he didn't want a relationship & didn't want to hurt me by continuing. I was quite heartbroken but I thought it was all crap & just an excuse to end it so just left things and didn't contact him.
There was no contact for about 6 weeks and then he started messaging me again, we started sleeping together again and he now comes round a couple of times a week again, stays a few hours, we watch TV, we talk, we obviously have sex but he also comes over when he knows it's TOTM & he won't be having sex. We still message every day although not as often, probably like 5/6 times... I always let him instigate messaging me as I don't want to appear too 'more than FWB'
Another couple of months have passed now & we had the feelings conversation, he told me that we must not get feelings for each other as he definitely doesn't want a relationship. He even told me to date other people so that I didn't get feelings for him!!!!
So that's what I did... & now he's not talking to me.
A guy I went to school with contacted me through Facebook & we message quite a lot, we met up a couple of times, and then one night we went for a few drinks and we ended up having sex (yes I use protection with both)
Anyway my FWB came over one evening and he saw a message come up from the school guy.. asked me if I'd been sleeping with him.. I said yes, I have had sex with him & he hit the roof, saying I shouldn't be having sex with other people while I'm having sex with him!
I asked him why? Said he told me to date others etc and he said yes date but not have sex! Can't explain why he doesn't like it but 'just doesn't, it's a smack in the face'
I know for a fact that he messages other women so god knows what else he does (rather not know)
Why should I commit to sex and nothing else?!
Anyway he is now not talking to me, and I am upset again because of course I have feelings for him (haven't told him)
Part of me wants to message him but I know
I'm probably just being used for sex and he is in a grump that I'm not just committed to him. The old saying 'you don't want me but don't want anyone else having me' springs to mind.
Also I've fobbed off the other guy a couple of times now as I just can't get my FWB out of my head and it's not fair.
Someone talk some sense into me please - tell me what to do!!
Thanks.