I think I should end it.......

[Newstart2019]

Just what the title says really.

It’s so hard to condense a relationship into a few paragraphs but here goes:
Been together 3 years
He is younger by 15 years and is divorced with 2 kids. The divorce was messy.

We recently (well just me really) instigated the conversation about moving in together but he says he cannot think about this as he is not ready and cannot say when he will ever be ready.
I’ve also noticed that when he talks about the future, although he says he is certain he wants a life with me, he talks in the singular tense ie “I” and not “we”.

He doesn’t really see a future with me does he??

I didn't want to read and run, but always listen to your gut, which you are doing. I'd talk to him again, say how important moving in together is for you (if it is) and set a date to talk things through again. Give yourself a timeline, and if he's still not ready, then walk. You need to put yourself first and if he's not giving you what you want from a relationship, then you need to go and find it elsewhere. Best of luck

You need to listen to that voice in your head.

Cut it out now with minimal pain. You deserve more

Can I ask what ages you are?

Given a messy divorce I can see why he can't see a point where you live together.

It all depends on wether you are willing to wait and accept that he may never be ready.

Thank you for your replies.

I’m early fifties and he is late thirties.
I just don’t know if it’s common for someone who has been through a messy divorce to shy away from commitment or if he just doesn’t want to commit to me!

I’m terrible at relationships and can over think things

Don't chase him, be aloof, he'll come running if he wants you

I've a bf of a year and a half. I've no intention of living with him. Not because I don't love him, I really do, but because I like my own space and don't want to tie myself to anyone else financially.

OP - i think he is just being sensible. And especially because he has kids.

No matter how much he may tell you that he wants to be with you in the long term - 15 years difference with Male being younger has a very low chance of working out long term.
Enjoy what you have for as long as you have it.

I have to agree with MMmomDD . An age gap like that means you are in 2 different stages of life. In my, real life experience (so not a conclusive study) but relationships where the man is far younger have made it past the older woman being in her mid 50s. I am sure there are exceptions.

No one can tell you if he just doesn't want to commit or not commit to you.

What if in a few years he decides he wants to have another child? Or are you going to happy dealing with teenagers in your 60s? Which is what will happen if you move in together.

Personally I think you need to decide what you want. He isn't offering commitment. You need to decide of you can live like that forever, because you can't bank on him changing his mind.

My Dp always plans for us. What we can do to the house. Where we can go for holidays. How we can lighten the load at home for me to pursue my career more, how we are planning next year's expenses.

I think he wants to be with you. But don't think he wants to commit to you. It's wether you will be ok with that forever.