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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break up at xmas

3 replies

abby0809 · 16/12/2018 12:12

Hi all,

New to posting but hoping for some help.

I have 2 girls 8 and 5 I left their dad (my ex husband) 4.5 years ago and moved on with a new parter, as a couple we raised the girls together and have done for the last 4 years.

It's been a tough year for him health wise and I've been supporting us both financially for the last year. It's been beyond hard and now my partner has decided he wants us to separate so we have a week to sort everything out and he's moving out before Christmas.

I have no idea what to tell the kids, he's raised them up as their dad all this time and now it feels like I'm failing them all over again.

No idea how I'm going to make it all work and still hold it together for them whilst working a very demanding FT job too and no no transport as I don't drive 😩 can't look into changing that because money is so tight.

Feel like a complete failure, I've supported him through the toughest of times, lived with him pretty much doing nothing at all for the last year and now it's like having everything thrown back in my face. He hasn't even left yet and he's attached to his phone already deleting us from all online presence he has and practically dribbling with excitement at being single!

Help 😥
Where do I start?!?!

OP posts:
GloomyMonday · 16/12/2018 12:42

Well he sounds awful, so thank goodness he's going. I think you need to make Christmas special for your girls by doing all of the little things that children value - spending time together, watching movies, playing games. Just be kind to yourselves, take one day at a time and regroup after Christmas, when you'll need to think about the practicalities.

As you've been doing everything, and paying for everything, for the past year you might not notice much difference! Do you have rl support?

abby0809 · 16/12/2018 16:04

I've got parents who can help a little but no friends or anyone I can count on.

There needs to be a tinder for grown ups just to make friends non of this relationship sending 🍾 pics rubbish! 🤣🤣

OP posts:
lifebegins50 · 16/12/2018 16:30

Get as much rest as you can. Make Christmas just about you and your girls.

Don't rush to date as you will need time to heal and make sure you know the red flags.

Your life can be good again, being a single mum can be great and you will build a firm bond.
Would you have room for an au pair to help with childcare?

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