Hello,
Me and my partner have been renting a house together for 10 months. Before that, our relationship was okay, but now I feel that I want to get out of it. After we moved in together, he started to put all housework on me, to cook, clean, buy groceries, plus he always demands perfection everywhere and if I don't achieve it, he shouts at me, calls me names and throws stuff around. Recently he smashed 3 mobile phones, thanks God his, not mine. He has those nervous outbursts because he started gambling online and losing loads of money. I had enough of his problems and of paying for all expenses every month, so I want to leave. I am planning to take my suitcases and go to a hotel secretly, when he will be at work. The problem is that I'm afraid it won't be very easy. I have some practical questions. Here they are:
- If I leave when he isn't home, how to sort out the tenancy agreement later? For example, if he gambles all his wages away at that point, he won't have money to go back to his native country, so how to move him out of the house? Would it be okay just to leave and not to put any money even for food? But what if his family will be able to send him money and he will just keep staying in the house refusing to go?
- If I give notice to the agency, they will suggest that tenancy will end for both of us, or one us us can stay and get a new agreement. Either way, a lady from the agency will need to visit our house to check if anything got damaged, etc. What if he barricades himself in the house and refuses to let her in? I am scared that until she sees the house, none of us will be released from the tenancy.
- What if after realising that I've escaped, he will leave too, but before that will cause serious damages inside the house just for revenge? For example, paint the walls with a marker, breaks windows or doors? I wouldn't like to pay for his craziness!
As I've checked his old Facebook chat with his ex (those messages were sent in 2014), she escaped from him because she couldn't stand his gambling and violence, he beat her a few times and threw his stuff through the window. When he wasn't nervous, I asked him about that, and he confirmed it's all truth and after that he stopped gambling for nearly 4 years. His old bank statements prove it, so I believe it is best for me to do the same... for my own sanity and for his potential recovery. But the problem is that when she left,their rent was unofficial, without agreement, so the landlord couldn't have won a lot in case of damages, and now I am scared to end up being sued for them!
How to organize my escape with a minimum of negative consequences? Ah, and one more problem is that we work together. I am now ready for his harassment and for being tortured by my colleagues with gossip and silly questions!