FFS XH. Just why?

[IAmALionessHearMeRoar]

XH has just introduced our DS to his new GF and her DC. I wouldn't mind at all if it was a LTR and she was an established part of his life. But, he has been seeing for less than 1 month. WTF?

I've been seeing someone for 6 months and we are serious about each other and I still haven't introduced my BF to my DS.

This is absolutely a symptom of XH never putting DC or anyone else before himself. Selfish bastard. I've always been the one parent they have who thinks about them, their best interests and feelings. Why can't their DF do the same?

I'm venting here, but also looking for a reality check. Am I overreacting?

You’re not overreacting, my STBX did exactly the same to my DD.

I can’t fathom why they think this is ok - it’s absolutely not.

Because they want everyone to see what a fabulous guy they are. New gf will see he is a wonderful father. And dc will fit right into new family model.

They have no thought to how this will affect the children. Because we are all meant to just fit into their idea of the roles we must play.

You can tell I have been there too. You know you are doing the right thing and can hold your head up high. Don't give him anymore head space. He isn't worth it.

I'm angry with him, which isn't useful here. But I'm worried my DS will get attached to his new GF, and because I feel the relationship will inevitably fail (because he is a narcissist who isn't capable of a normal loving relationship), and my DS will get hurt when someone he may have grown to love as a stepmum leaves his life.

I'm way overthinking I expect. And it's out of my control which makes me even more anxious about it.

My dad had a number of girlfriends when I was growing up. I never saw them in the role as step mum. I lived with my mum. Just people who were in my dads life. And I have told my children the same. It is lovely they have so many grow ups that love and care for them. But they only have one mum and dad. Probably not the right thing to do. But I didn't see any of the girlfriends as long term fixture.

I think step parent is more appropriate if they are living and involved in day to day lives of the child. Not someone they visit here and there.

I was also brought up by a parent who had a series of new partners. I hated it.

How much time does he spend with his Dad (hopefully not much of me a narcissist).

He spends EOW with his dad. The influence and parenting by XH on DS is a whole other thread!

OP, I could have written your thread but now STBXH is moving in with his girlfriend after only 4 months & has shown my DD her new bedroom - arrggghhhh!!

My ex introduced my kids to the woman he’d been seeing for less than a month, two weeks ago. Yesterday he text me to say he’s single again. Idiot. Kids won’t care though, they saw right through him and they are 7 and 10!

My dp exw did the same kids introduced to the new partners when they were jsut casually dating but apparently anyone he dated had to have her approval. Sigh.
Literally nothing you can do but very annoying

My xh does this regularly. He's on about the 6th now, they all get introduced instantly.
I shan't fill your thread with tales of his (and the various females') ridiculous behaviour, but at least dd thinks he is pathetic and refuses to get drawn into this month's new happy family nonsense.

I think it's normal because the xh often needs the new gf to help out with the childcare especially if they are a disney dad without doing all the graft associated with being one.

This way the gf gets an idea early on what she's taking on.

This happened to my 2 DCs. I was annoyed but it didn't affect them tbh. They liked her very much and still do, but they wouldn't be devastated if she separated from my ex.