I really want people to be honest and tell me if I'm overreacting. I have 4 DC's, youngest two have autism and ID. I split with their (very abusive) dad 3 years ago.
My parents weren't particularly supportive after the separation but I'm quite an independent person so just got on with it by myself.
The main thing that has annoyed me is their lack of interest in the kids. My youngest girl had her autism assessment recently. They knew but didn't text or call to see how it went, did she get a diagnosis etc. Same when the older girl started school in September, it was a big deal as she was going into an autism unit but they didn't bother asking how she got on until I ran into them into the shops a couple of weeks later. They live 5 minutes down the road but never visit, this is despite knowing that it's difficult for me to bring the younger girls anywhere as they find it really overwhelming and stressful being in unfamiliar places. So I've accepted all this and maintained a fairly low contact relationship with them. The only contact we really have now is if I ring them or we happen to bump into each other at my mum's work place or in town. If I don't call they would leave it several weeks before they would call.
A year ago I got into a relationship with a woman. The relationship is great, we've met each others kids, plan to move in together next year etc. My parents don't acknowledge the relationship, my dad doesn't at all, my mum does but barely. They haven't met her. Mum called me the other day to see if I'm coming down Christmas day with the kids. They always expect us down for Christmas, won't come to me despite being invited previous years. I told her I'll let her know over the next couple of days because my gf and her daughter are calling in Christmas day but I wasn't sure what time. I then commented that I must arrange a day for us to all meet for coffee or something so they can meet her. She immediately said "Well not at Christmas" So in other words she wants me and the kids there but not my partner. At this stage I don't know what the point is in continuing a relationship with my parents. They don't care about my kids, they're not bothered about my happiness...aibu in firstly turning down the Christmas invite and also just not bothering to force this relationship with then any more? Also in my will I have them down as guardians for the two youngest if anything happens to me. If I change this I will have to look at setting up a respite family through their service provider who could then take over their care if I died (their dad has addiction issues so couldn't). However I can't see that they'd be better off with my parents tbh as they have made no effort to get to know them or their needs.