In laws staying for weeks over christmas

[Kestrel21]

Hi,
I am writing for some advice, i have a long term partner and we get on great. However every Christmas since i've known him (3 years) his in laws come over from over seas and stay for at least three weeks.
One major issue i have is the cultural differences between our families, what they find acceptable, we dont. His mother does everything for his father, who is fair enough , elderly but also so overweight that he cannot join in with things my family does.
I am from a strong minded, career minded family and this is completely alien and annoying to me.

Also when here during that time, they seem to treat the house like their own, watching what they want on TV, or watching what they want on a tablet while were trying to watch tv, waking up at at 4:30-5am every day,using only their specific mugs for drinks and eating only what they are used to eating (i.e. produce which can be bought from the supermarket brand which is also available in their home country.)It feels like there is no flexibility with them at all. My partner says he will sort them out in terms of their needs, but its their behavior which is a problem. It is difficult to talk to the other half about these issues as hes protective and says he only sees them once or twice a year, but for me and my family on christmas day it is becoming difficult having them over every year. I would be really grateful for any thoughts/help, or please tell me if i'm completely over reacting.

Do you live together?

yes we have done for almost 2 years. We have a bigger place now so can accommodate them, but i still think its a problem.

Whose house are you referring to ?
If it's their son's house they probably see you as the girlfriend rather than his wife and their host .

Presumably it's too late to change plans for this year, but could you suggest that next year you spend Christmas with your family, & see his family at some other time?

Crossed post.
My point still (sort of) stands though.
I wonder what status ' son's partner ' has in their culture.
I'm guessing they are conservative people.

Well you know what they’re like now so can’t you just roll with it?
The tv thing does sound annoying, maybe get some headphones to watch your tablet with/drown them out.
Could you arrange to go to visit friends or family for a few days to give yourself a break?

yes we have done for almost 2 years. We have a bigger place now so can accommodate them, but i still think its a problem.

I mean I get why he'd want his family to visit since they live over seas but weeks at a time is alot. I do feel for him though if it's something he's done with them for years, telling them not to come would probably be hard for him. As for how they behave with eachother, I mean I wouldn't love it either but that's their business, you don't have to be like that

You need to suggest his parents come for christmas once every two years, explain that you don't want to host them for 2 weeks every christmas. Suggest they visit another time in the year instead.
Alternatively move out while they are there and stay with your family, let him look after his parents.

If I was you I'd book into a cheap hotel for the duration of their visit, tell them you're working long hours, arrive home about 9pm every night to say hello to them, go to bed and/or shag your DP, then fuck off to the hotel every morning at 6am.

You say 'his in-laws' do you mean his parents?
How far away do they live as 3 weeks may not be a lot of time, to them, if they are elderly and have travelled a long way.
Whilst I appreciate it is not great for you, it is your own perception of how people should behave that is causing your problem. If this is the way a wife acts in their culture, and the wife is happy with the situation, I am afraid you have to accept it. As some one else said, is the house you all live in your partner's house, or is it joint, because, their culture may not appreciate your part in it as you are not married to each other. It is very nice that they feel welcome enough to treat the house as their own, but it would seem that part of the problem is nothing to do with culture but good manners. Is there space for them
to have their own 'sitting' room area so they can watch what they want on their tablets, or perhaps you could put a tv in another room.
Have a few days and evenings out with your own friends, and invite your own friends and family around, so that they will have to either, join in or go to their own room.

Maybe, going forward, you could arrange a holiday of your own over the festive period ?? !!!