I think my wife is leaving me.....

[Donald2007]

I love my wife with all my heart, but she says she is unhappy and unfulfilled in our relationship and is considering divorce, although at the moment she wants to stay together for the sake of the children (8 and 6 yo) as these are her priority. I can feel my world falling apart and I really don’t know what to do. I am sure she is not having an affair as I trust her implicitly. I think she is amazing woman and am proud of all she does, she is a brilliant mum and has an amazing job (which I fully support and which has really taken off lately). I have tried to give her everything she wants both emotionally and financially over our 17 years together but I have obviously failed as this does not seem to be enough, and I can feel her putting distance between us. I have asked what she wants from the marriage, and what I can do to make her more fulfilled and happy but she says she does not know. She says she loves me, but I can not see how she could if she is considering divorce. I can feel my life slipping through my fingers and do not know what to do any advice would be amazing because I am really struggling.

Hi OP, we just wondered if you'd like us to move your thread over to our Relationships topic? There's more traffic there, and we're sure there'll be plenty of Mumsnetters who could offer you advice and support. Just reply here or hit the 'report' button to let us know.

There might be a connection between "her job taking off lately" and "she is putting distance between us". Just an instinct but I'd guess that either her work - or possible someone at work - is causing this situation.

If she has already stated that she wants a divorce, I'd say that she has been thinking about this for some time. You are in shock because it's all so sudden, but to her, she is already moving on mentally.

The fact that she wants to stay for the time being, gives you some leeway - perhaps you could suggest some counselling although she might reject that option. And just as a suggestion, I'd try not to ask things like "what do you want from the marriage" and "what I can do". If she'll sit down and talk, I'd be asking what has happened to make her think of divorce. And what her plans are for the future . You deserve the respect of knowing what has caused this change. Good luck.

Dear Birdie
Thank you for your kind words, it means the world to me!

Yes please could you move it over to the relationships thread

@Donald2007

Yes please could you move it over to the relationships thread

Yes, of course. We're moving your thread over now.

I would try to keep this in one post.
Use THIS THREAD

Thanks, hellsbellsmelons - we'll close this thread now.