Panic every night about ending up alone

[5amnightpanic]

It’s 5am again and I’m awake feeling sick and panicked about the fact I’m not settled down. I didn’t think in my mid thirties life would be like this. I love intimacy and company and children. This isn’t the life I wanted.

Sick of everyone putting me and feel like there’s so much pressure. I am so low. Just posting for support really. Anyone else felt this way? How can I stop the panicking early in the morning?

Trust me the people living the life that you want are panicking to. Got married 2 years ago and had DD 4 months ago. We have a nice enough house, okish jobs and a new baby so on the surface if all looks rosey. It's not though. I'm awake again waiting for the baby to stir and today will no doubt be another exhausted struggle. I had a traumatic birth and whilst we love DD and are so thankful she's here the experience has shaken us. I have PND and anxiety, hubby is off with depression. It wasn't meant to be like this. Sometimes I long for the days when I could just chill out in front of Netflix all weekend, sleep or just have a break.

Don't worry about what other people think. Life will come together in its own time. Most people in my nct group were closer to 40 than 30. Remember that the lives of those you think have everything you want are probably just as panicky and unhappy.

Thanks blackcat

Congratulations on your DD. I’m sorry that things are tough right now. Hope it gets better

Are you able to have a break at Christmas and get family support?

Thanks 5am. DD is having a clingy phase and has pulled out her trump card or refusing to feed for my parents or PIL. It won't be a break more of a DD tour with everyone wanting a bit of baby's first Xmas. At least I won't have to cook or clean up this year.

Have you had much luck with dating recently? Are you doing things for yourself?

Don’t panic: PLAN

There’s no point being all whimsical and coy in your thirties, you need to plot to find a man! Are you dating?

blackcat it’s definitely a plus not to have to cook and clean! :)

I have been dating. Last relationship ended in June. I’ve met people who want to meet again, I’m just not into anyone and haven’t felt bothered about meeting for a second time.

A friend of mine didn't meet someone suitable but she still wanted a child. She ended up adopting a little girl and now 25 years later, that little girl is all grown up with a good career. :) My friend says DD is the joy of her life and had no regrets.

I feel exactly the same. You're not alone. Try to tell yourself it's irrational how you're feeling and you need to keep hopeful and get dating. Don't force yourself, but also don't wait around. It will happen when you least expect it

I think its natural to feel like this at this time of year. Its easy to look at other people and think all lovely and rosy for them but under the surface everyone has their issues and life is not perfect. I had my first child at 38 and people are settling down later. Make most of your freedom embrace it and see this as a chance to do things for you. Date and live it up! The right man will come along and you will have children i’m sure!