Was this rape/assault? Triggering

[PumpedUpTermite]

I’ve recently started seeing someone new after a while of being single, things were going well and up until this point things have been fine sex wise.
We were having sex on Monday evening and during otherwise fine sex he did a particular thing that I didn’t enjoy, I found it quite painful and scary and asked him to stop twice and said no once and tried to pull away from him however he pulled me back into him and I felt forced to stay put. I don’t know what happened to me as I’m usually very assertive but I just stopped and froze until he was done. I think he noticed I was off and apologised, I don’t want to see him again and I won’t be but I still feel like I’ve been assaulted not sure If I’m being ridiculous about it im fairly experienced sexually but have never had this happen before and can’t stop thinking about it.

You were assulted. Im sorry. Glad to hear you dont want to see him again..

I’m sorry this has happened to you. Please trust your own instincts and feelings .

Yes you were assaulted , you made it very clear that you didn’t consent and he didn’t stop.

Freezing is a very normal response In this situation , it’s your body trying to protect itself.

You have done nothing wrong , there’s nothing wrong with you. You are normal. He’s a shit and I’m glad you won’t see him again.

If you told him to stop and tried to get away from him and he pulled you back then this is classed as sexual assualt/rape. Go to the police and report him and get yourself checked for any std's just incase. 💐

X posted with team spirit!

You asked him to stop, he didn't. In my book that's rape.

You are certainly not being ridiculous and I feel nothing but sympathy for you and contempt for him. I'd certainly be inclined to end it and even go so far as contact the police. But that's easy for me to say, well type, from where I am sitting.

I'd also recommend in touch with whatever support bases exist for anyone in your situation. Sure the other posters here will know them.

You asked him to stop, he didn't. In my book that's rape
Indeed it is.
If you feel you need some specialist support then please do contact Rape Crisis.
They can help you with all of this.

Yes it is. Whatever you want to call it, assault or rape depending on the very specifics of it (penetration etc).
A freeze response is very very common.

A similar thing happened to me years ago and I literally went from physically hitting them to just being silent and moody afterwards. Your brain just gets you to preserve yourself I guess. Like you I would say I was sexually "experienced" and also confident and very willing up to a point. You know something is up because presumably after sex you wouldn't normally be thinking "was I assaulted?". In your case is seems very clear he knew what he was doing and he assaulted you.

If you don't know what you would like to do about it, but are open to reporting it now or at a later date then you can report it at a Crisis centre, where you are under no obligation to take things further.

I am so sorry, and hope posting will help you make sense of it all. But there are professionals who can help you, too (legally or just psychologically).

Thank you everyone.
I don’t think I’ll go to the police but at least I’m not being ridiculous... I’ll look into rape crisis. Thank you again

thinking of you. Reach out for support if needed but please remember this is all him whose in the wrong not you. Your reactions and behaviour are normal his actions are criminal.