Childhood trauma - struggling with therapy

[Pipotle]

I've been in therapy for a while now and have begun to really feel the feelings from my childhood again when I experienced abuse and neglect - shame, fear, loneliness, sadness, just an all round lack of joy/interest/excitement. Before I explored them in therapy I could talk about the facts of what happened to me but I was at a remove from them emotionally. I'm finding this very difficult. It's now the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and it's where my thoughts immediately go when I have a spare moment. I think about it in social situations and it's hard for me to go to work or to socialise at the moment. I feel nothing is fun.

I just so desperately don't want to feel this way any more. I want my life back and I don't want to feel the way I felt in my childhood any more.

I know that connecting with these feelings is important but I don't want this to define me. Has anyone else experienced this and can give some advice?

Yes I've experienced it. Different in that I was therapy avoidant - Kept putting it off. Then in the middle of a really distressing time with parents, I went NC.

Not Long after that, it all came back. By that I don't mean memories but the emotions associated with them. Upshot, two weeks of nightmares and flashbacks.

But!!! It did get better. A LOT better. We're different people and you've had your moment of clarity much more slowly. Mine was hard and fast. But I promise you, you will get better.

However, are you still in touch with your abusers?