I would welcome your experiences with the above.
I'm a LP and have had a difficult few years, DD is 7 and things have been a bit easier for the last couple of years since he's been a bit older but prior to that I had terrible PND and MH issues.
I was socially isolated for a long time for various reasons, but with therapy I worked through a lot of issues and expected life to be a lot better and that I would make new friends.
However, this has sadly not been the case. I'm not sure why as I have made no end of efforts to try to engage with people but it seems to be a vicious circle of people / other parents not wanting to meet up again then me feeling low then it being even harder to make new friends. NB, I don't smell, think I am friendly, I'm not overbearing, and am wondering what the issue is. I do have a bit of social anxiety and am wondering if I sometimes give off a certain vibe but on the whole am friendly.
My brain veers between self loathing, depression and indifference and confusion.
I thought school would elicit new friendships but the school gate has been very anxiety inducing for me - people I have chatted to in depth at a kids party or playdate have virtually ignored me at pickup and I am very confused. Are they busy? Don't want to be friends? I've also arranged mum meetups through wider friendship circles that have fizzled out after a meetup or two.
Attempts at arranging playdates are met with people ignoring the text or just replying to another part of the text. Okaayyy??
I'm confused if it's because I seem a bit low or they sense I have social anxiety. Could it be that people are busy and don't want new friends? Could it be that they think I am odd? Could it be cognitive distortion on my part only seeing the negative? Could it be that that is the way the school gates / other parent interations just are?
I do have a few close friends but it's really dropped off, I wonder if it is because of my age (early 40s), and /or situation as a LP who can't often socialise.
Am I having unrealistic expectations of making a few friends via school / whatever? Even the playdates that came out of afterschool activities have ended as a deadend.
I just feel in a negative spiral of self defeat over it all and I'm verging on depression as it is.
Any thoughts welcome...