OLD (again)

[crappyday2018]

I've tried OLD a few times now and at the moment, I;m actually quite happy to be single and focus on myself and my kids. Out of boredom I guess, I decided to unhide my POF profile.
Nothing has changed of course, and I got bombarded with messages. Other than the undesirables, I've had:
Chat 1 - seems nice looking etc but sent 2/3 messages back and forward then he stopped replying
Chat 2 - again looked nice etc, chatted a little bit then he dropped the 'naughty chat' bomb so I blocked him
Chat 3 - had a bit of funny banter back and forward then he stopped replying
Chat 4 - this guy was really interesting. We liked similar stuff, he seemed really keen to meet up. No perving, just seemed a genuine guy. Said he would get in touch later last night (he was going out) to arrange a date. Guess what? nothing! Hes been online today too.
Obviously I know the usual stories. Many blokes have no intentions of meeting up etc. Many are not single....
Its the ones who send long in-depth messages, acting keen and being the ones to suggest meeting that I don't really get. What do they get out of it?

I mean, I was only looking myself, not particularly serious. But I would suggest meeting up then disappear - why waste someone's time?>

*wouldn't

Some people on dating sites take it as far as they can with no actual intention of meeting up with anyone. Ego boost, maybe. The guy who was keen to meet but going out that evening - maybe he was seeing a woman and is no longer interested in meeting you?

@RyderWhiteSwan yes that's a good point actually. Although he was back online today. Who knows. I'm going to have to delete it.
I'm not naive but it still astounds me how some people behave on there and I struggle to understand what they get out of it.
An ego boost perhaps but its not like I actually met him - I could have easily not turned up or ghosted him too.

You need the hide of a rhino for OLD!

I have hidden my profile as I'm happy single, and CBA to socialise when it's cold, rainy etc;. I may unblock in Spring, but only for some dates, maybe FWB. I'm a gimmer, though, and not arsed about a life partner, just fun dates (even the crap ones provide some amusement!). I won't bullshit anyone, though, and make it clear what I want. No 'future faking'.

@RyderWhiteSwan - that's the annoying thing, I'm not even looking for anything serious but I can't even seem to get a date!!
I only get weirdos messaging me and the ones that look ok, just stop replying. I don't think my banter is that bad!!!
I remember over a year ago a guy messaged me, seemed really nice and genuine. We set up a date and he cancelled last minute then blocked me!!

Yep, I've a;so posted on the other thread but I feel the same.
I've deleted my Tinder account today as I only matched with a handful of men, only one messaged me and after I replied he didn't message again. I don't have disposable time to waste and don't see the attraction in swiping for swiping's sake. My Match subscription ends this month and having set up a POF account yesterday and been inundated with messages from men I am not interested in, I will be deleting that too!
I'd rather be consciously single than becoming more and more jaded with OLD and wasting my free time looking for someone who probably isn't there.

I think it’s possible to read too much into it. People on OLD sites are usually communicating with and arranging dates with several people at once. When they stop replying it’s rarely about you - they’re just concentrating on other matches they think they have more in common with. Sure, it’s dispiriting and frustrating sometimes, but rather than obsess over why they haven’t replied and convince yourself there must be reasons, the key is just to keep telling yourself it’s them and not you and nothing is meant by it.

@ComtesseDeSpair yes you are completely right. I don't obsess about it but I do get irritated by it. I'm well aware they could be talking to many others which is fine by me. I think it just become disheartening when its ALL the time. I know nothing is meant by it and I don't take it personally but its frustrating when its literally time and time again.
Its at the point now where if I do reply to someone, I just assume they're a time waster.
I definitely need to delete.

Why not keep your hidden profile, and have another go in the new year?

It is disheartening, I do sympathise. I think it’s a good idea to deactivate your account from time to time when it stops being fun - because after all, that’s what it’s meant to be. When I started OLD-ing I used to communicate terribly politely and responsively with people and tell them that I didn’t think we were a match etc before I stopped messaging them. But I get a lot of messages (not boastful, I think most women do) and it just became too much to keep doing that, so I’m now one of the non-responders I guess.

Yes I will hide it and delete the app, that way I'm not tempted to go on. I find OLD addictive for some stupid reason and I end up spending way too much time looking at it and then getting frustrated. Definitely does nothing for your mental health!!