Does anyone dream about their ex?

[Sillysausage12345]

Hi

I’m still having vivid dreams about my ex, although now they usually include his new partener and baby and are senarios that “could” actually happen.

It was a traumatic relationship and breakup and he went on to marry someone from overseas he’d only met a few times 5 months after we split. They welcomed a baby a couple months ago less than a year after they got married.

They now live in a house only a few miles down the road, one that I was involved in (built it ourselves) and it seems whenever I’m feeling down he pops into my dreams.

I’ve been dating this lovely guy, haven’t seen him for just over a week as he had xmas parties and his kids this weekend and I’m feeling like I just need a cuddle and reassurence... I guess to know I’m still wanted. What a sad state of affairs.

I’ve been single just coming up to 3 years, always lived on my own, I’m busy, independent, blah blah blah most of the time I’m perfectly happy in my own company but slowly over the years as I’ve become less self destructive I’ve noticed that all my close friends are now either married, have long term relationships or have kiddies... it’s not that I feel left out I just feel lonely, and when this happens the ex raises his big fat head. Which then in turn makes me more down and it goes round and round.

I’ve always had dreAms/nightmares, as a young child I had night terrors so it’s not unusual for me to dream I would just rather it was about something and someone else.

Anyone Have similar experiences?

I don’t expect a “poor you” response but a cuddle would have been nice. Can’t exactly tell him I’m dreaming quite frequently and especially if my ex when I’m feeling low. He blames my ADs but if I forget to take them I fall like a stone.

It’s juat nice to know I’m not the only one!

I dream about my ex husband a lot and we’ve been divorced28 years! Bloody weird

I disagree you can and should be able to talk to your new guy about a past relationship that deeply affected you. It might and should help him to get to know you better and let him know that he needs to sometimes give you support or a cuddle.

I haven't told my boyfriend and my dreams but I have confided in him about my ex and how he treated me and how this emotionally affected me.

My boyfriend listens and gives me support. He understands it'll prob take years to be fully free of the baggage I carry.

If you don't feel supported by your new guy or that he wants to listen or be there for you is he worth it? If he dismisses you then that's not good.
Maybe you're feel a bit crap because he's behaving a bit crap x

Yeah I feel you’re right about being able to share how I’m feeling I’m just scared that it’ll put him off and scare home away if he thinks I’m still hung up on my ex.

It’s not nice or ideal to be still going on about ex is it... especially as he’s so easily and obviously moved on.

haven’t seen him for a week or so and he’s not made any plans to see me either. I suggested a date night Monday but he didn’t decline or confirm so I’ve just left it up to him as I hate being rejected and don’t want to come across needy... if he wanted to see me he would.

That’s probs another issue entirely and would need another post!

@TheOrigBrave I've been having horrid vivid dreams about my abusive ex too

I actually made a post this morning questioning whether I might have PTSD as it had disturbed me so much.

It's reassuring to see I'm not alone and am comforted by the thought it must be normal to dream about an ex, even if they're not particularly nice people

How long have you been with the new bloke

I do! He really made a fool of me and now looking back I realise I could have never been with him, he was a real jack the lad and didn't treat me very well, but yet annoyingly I still dream of him. ugh

We’ve known each other for a number of years but have only really been dating for a few months on and off, I’ve spent some time abroad this year so lost dating momentum, and with my anxiety about getting involved with some one new its taken a while to get to this point, to be fair to him he’s put the work in ... but we slept together couple weeks after what seemed like a 1000 dates so it seems to have stepped up a gear.

I’ve just got to keep chill and let him come to me. Back to the gym tonight after a while off... please pray for me x

Yes, but like other posters it's more of a nightmare.

I wake up and realise I'm next to my now OH and the relief literally rushes over me that I'm not actually back there.

I think you're dreaming about your ex/past relationship because your present relationship is causing you anxiety. I think deep down you know this new guy isn't good enough and you deserve better! You seem to be compromising too much for this guy and making excuses.

When I have been upset about my past and need to speak with my boyfriend I have always made it clear that it is not about my ex but the affect of a nasty past relationship that at times leaves me upset or feeling insecure.
My boyfriend listens to me and talks it through with me even when I am crying. He knows that I'm definitely not attached to my ex but the impact of a horrendous relationship takes years to heal.

I also don't think you need to be chilled. You need to be yourself. If you're even having to consider waiting or that he needs to come back to you then you deserve better.
You deserve a man that, no matter what time of day or night it is you can phone him up and he will be there for you.

Is this guy good enough? you sound way too good for him x

Ahhh that’s very kind of you to say that, the new guy is nice but I don’t know really what he wants from me?

I agree that I should be able to phone him up any time I’d say and I probably could but I don’t want to come across like I’m whinging.... he won’t understand I don’t think. I barely understand my thoughts myself so how can I expect someone else to.

Feeling much better today, went to the gym last night and got a friends book launch this evening which is exciting!

Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and shared experiences. They do turely help x

@mothership113 I was diagnosed with PTSD after leaving my abusive ex. Immediately afterwards I was fine but it was a few eeks, possibly even months down the line it hit. Counselling helped

yep, talking to someone who doesn't know you like a therapist could be really good. As long as you don't feel you're compromising for this new guy.
you only deserve the best! x