If you were older than 35 and met your husband, please tell me about it and how you knew it was right

[fedupgal23]

Feeling low and a bit lost tonight.

I date and I don’t think I’m too specific about a potential husband, I keep an open mind. It hasn’t happened for me yet and on a dark night it feels quite lonely! Anyone out there who met their one after 35, I would love to hear about it :)

Met my husband online dating 4 years ago aged 36. Married for 2 years and very happy 🙂

Met my hubby aged 34, i was not looking for a long term relationship, but he and I just fit together really well. We're now married with a 10 mth ds. I knew gradually over time. There was no.lightening bolt, just a soft growing certainty that this man was a good one, a kind one and one who I could see myself laughing with at the age of 87.

Believe it or not we met on tinder. My one and only tinder date!

36 years old - and smitten from the moment of being introduced. It happened VERY fast - perhaps too fast - but all fairy tale! At 35 I was wasting time with unsuitable liaisons. But that’s a guy perspective.

I met my DH through online dating when I was 38.

We were married less than 2 years later and still are 12 years on.

I stopped being fussy, Met DH at 38. Really fancied him so asked him out...
i’d Never asked a bloke out before... wish i’d Done it sooner!
I knew within 3 months. It was/is completely effortless. The communication was good and genuine. We ended up living together just by default really as we spent so much time together. I never had to wonder whether he was interested or not....

Sorry, I mean I started being fussy.... I stopped going on dates with men who asked if I didn’t fancy them...

DH and I met through online dating when he was 39 and I was 36. We’ve been together 6.5 years and married 2 years now

I met dh via OLD a month before my 38th birthday. I wanted a committed relationship leading to marriage but I was lonely and bored so spent more time than I should have with people who weren't for me.

It wasn't love at first sight - when we met I didn't know we'd end up together - but dh stood out as a happy, reliable, responsible adult. He was open, warm, generous and balanced. Nothing seemed to rattle him. That may not sound very compelling but I'd met so many people whose lives seemed to consist of careering from one drama to another, it was oddly attractive to meet someone who didn't just let it all hang out. If I've made him sound too sensible he's also handsome and great fun and we had/have a lot in common. We eventually realised we had a mutual friend; when I told her we were seeing each other she said it was so obvious we'd make a good couple she couldn't understand why she hadn't introduced us in the first place.

Op have you thought of making a list of what's important to you in a partner? That helped me keep my focus when I was tempted by relationships I knew wouldn't go anywhere.

Nice to read :)

Anymore....always welcome!!

thefirst I have thought of a list but don’t want to be too narrow minded.

I want someone who wants a family and commitment. We need to share similar sense of humour. Hardworking but doesn’t always prioritise work over everything else. Kind. Has a bit of a spark about them. Doesn’t want to follow the crowd and have to keep up with appearances - ie is confident in who they are. Has a decent job.

Are these ok qualities?!

I met mine aged 37, I was a single parent with one DC aged 12.
I'd given up on meeting anyone decent but we met, married and had a baby within 2 years, that was 16 years ago!

Op those sound like great qualities, but the important thing is that that's what you want in a partner. I wouldn't call it narrow-mindedness, I'd call it focus. :) Honour your own priorities.

I’m trying. Just sometimes feel like it just won’t ever be for me.

I remember feeling like that.

I started seeing my husband at 37. We'd been friends for a couple of years before that. I knew within a few weeks it was serious and he took another job which meant more security for us after about 4 months. He moved in with me when we'd been together 5 months. I remember my mam thinking it was quite rushed but we both knew it was right and we are still blissfully happy together 11 years on, growing older together.

I met my now DH when I was maybe six months short of 35. I had stopped looking and was enjoying my own company after a few years of unsuccessful OLD. We were friends at first, really comfortable with each other from the off, something that rarely happens to me. By time I turned 35 we were living in different areas but kept in touch and just slowly moved into a relationship. We were married shortly after my 36 birthday and we are still, 12 years later.

:)
This panic has recently stopped me sleeping!

Lots of people meet someone after 35.

My mum met my stepdad when I was 15, more than 20 years ago. They’re very happy and kind of one of those ridiculous couples that finish each other’s sentences etc.

I ended a relationship at 36. Now I’ve met someone else who is everything I want. It’s been only 6 months but I’m sure. As PPs have said: we fit well together; we like similar things and have very similar values and expectations; it’s easy and effortless; even when it’s hard we can just talk. It’s something I (we actually) can see lasting forever.

And that’s completely different to any previous relationship I’ve had. With my exes it’s never felt like it could have been forever.

You’ve got plenty of time, OP. And you will just know it’s right (when it’s right).

Stop trying. And Definitely stop worrying.

I was single for a couple of years following kicking out my exH. And with everything in life went full blown 100% into making the next relationship happen. Although I was certain I didn't want another dickhead, so I set myself a fair few expectations which to this day I haven't relented on !

This resulted in a new date every 3 weeks or so, with me developing a zero nonsense policy for bad.behaviour. finally, when I decided that I'd rather be single, than compromise and genuinely believed it, my Mr Perfect appeared.

We are still together now, 6 years on, one beautiful DD and very happy. Oh and we met when I was 35...

Stop trying. Raise your standards. Be happy in yourself and then it will happen.

Thanks.

I’ve heard the phrase ‘it’s a numbers game’ a lot where dating is concerned. This has led me to begin to line up lots of dates. Is this the wrong approach?

The thing is, I am happy with my life - I really am! I just want someone to share it with. I figured dating an increased number would increase the chances. But it is time consuming and often lonely and frustrating...

It's not a bad idea as such but it will only be productive if they're worth meeting. Are they all viable candidates? I agree with Treacle, you need to really be ruthless in eliminating unsuitable people.
I want to point out I'm not trying to say they're not worthwhile people, just that if you can see they don't fit into your specific partner-shaped space then it's better for everyone to eliminate them early.
I think it's a great sign that you're happy with your life and want to share it. I was the same - no problem doing stuff on my own or with my friends, but I was a bit tired of those being the only options.

I met DP when we were both 38 using OLD. It was all calm and a bit uneventful compared to previous relationships, but this was what I was looking for. As soon as I met DP I knew he would never mess me around and he would be just a nice, kind guy.

Anyway 7 years (nearly 8) later we are celebrating our DD’s 5th birthday today. We didn’t hang around although none of it was planned. I moved in with him and almost immediately found out I was pregnant.

I’d had such a grotty time with my ex that I knew I was going to listen to my instinct when I met the next guy. I did and it’s made me really happy.

I met my dh when I was 43 on tinder, he was 37. Got married after 2.5 years and been together 4 years.... Stupidly happy 😊

Met at a local Chamber of Commerce networking event.