Moving on from bad relationship, success stories...

[louisejanep]

I’m currently going through rough time at the moment, been together for 10 years, 3 year old DD, emotionally abusive and psychologically damaging. Left last night. Would love to hear some stories of how people moved on and are happy now.

I'm with mine 10 years and I left today but I know for sure it was the right decision and I can't fix him. You know in your heart its for the best. Xx

Hello i havent got experience of this type of relationship but was married for 14 yrs when XH had affair and we split. I was lost, devastated with no idea of how to be on own since we’d been together since i was 17 (i was 35 at the time). I couldnt see that i would ever get over it. I had bad days then the odd bettter day and slowly things got better. I’m in a much much better and happier relationship now and so glad it happened as feel it was the making of me. Take small steps think only of today as its scary to think too far ahead. Know you are totally doing the right thing and dont go back because its what you know. You must protect your DD and when it feels hard think you must do it for her otherwise she will learn that abusive relationships are normal and repeat the pattern. Be strong - you can do it. Read some inspiration books. Trust me it will get better it will just take time. How much calmer life will be for you - just you and your girl. Good luck

I left an abusive relationship about five years ago now. It was hard and miserable and I went back more times than I can count, I spent time alone working on myself, on holding my boundaries, fast forward and I am in a totally different relationship with a kind, caring, supportive human who is an equal in every way. We have a toddler and a happy home and we talk. We support each other and my whole life is so much better.

Hi ladies nice to hear your positive stories and that this really difficult time is not going to last forever. Sunnysideup you sound like your in exactly same position as me with leaving as you know no matter how many years you’ve given to try and help that person it is impossible to fix somebody who doesn’t believe he has a problem.thank you Lozzer I am going to try reading some inspirational books. Thank you shukleberry how long did it take you to feel yourself again?

Yes, my relationship broke down two years ago. He was a nasty, abusive man. Emotionally abusive which turned physical. Actually I had two relationship in which they were abusive and cheated on me. It got me to rock bottom.

I felt like I couldn't go on. I don't know how i got through the first couple of months (as i worked with said abusive ex). Through taking one day at a time and being kind to myself...ie going for a waking, listening to music, reading, thinking kind thought and nice things about myself I slowly got myself back on track.

I decided to remain single until i was strong enough to handle dating and know that I was happy with myself .

Two years on - and at 35 I have found the love of my life. He is kind, generous, would never hit me, call me names or gaslight me. He isn't my normal type, he's quite a bit older and at first I was like ummm not sure! He is one amazing guy but sometimes you miss the good ones wasting time on the vile ones.

You will get there. You will learn from this and you will absolutely know what you don't want from a relationship x