I've been so stupid

[Elfsie]

I know MN is not always a sympathetic place, but please be gentle because I am already beating myself up enough about this.

I got stupidly drunk last night and told a new friend via text message that I had fallen in love with him. I know he does not feel the same for me. I did say I will back off. I've had no reply and I know he has read it.

It's ruined so much. I've been so stupid. Please talk me down. I will have to face him next week. He is not the type to talk, so it will just be awkward silence. That hurts me more than a simple 'I don't see you that way'.

Pretend you've lost your phone, lost it last week....?!

Oh I’ve had a crush on a work friend and ended up telling him by text. The next time we went for coffee it kind of hung there between us until I said something along the lines of “ are we going to talk about this?” He was charming but explained why nothing would ever happen between us and we moved on. I was a bit sad about it for a while but we were soon back to taking the piss out of each other as normal. A bit later I thanked him for not abandoning me as a friend because there have been times when he’s really helped me.

That’s sweet! He should feel honoured! Just tell him gin makes you love everyone and you sent it to multiple people and laugh

Yes, ditto the sass it out. I've done so many idiotic things when I was drunk I now just take ownership of it and I'm usually the first one to bring it up. It's usually met with relief that I'm not expecting everyone to ignore whatever ridiculous thing I've said/done.

That on top of the funtime comedown, I bet you've had a crappy day. Hugs!

Ah don't worry, I'm sure, even if he's not interested in taking things further, he'll be flattered. Like others have said, send a "whoops, too many gins" message.

Oh op. I've done this before, and the shame of the morning after reading through texts I've sent is horrible.

Honestly, you haven't said anything awful. You haven't insulted him, or sent anything explicit. Just a drunken over emotional message. We've all been there !!!!

Oh my god, please don’t do this 😂:

’Ah, I seem to have sent you a message in error last night. How mortifying, I swear iPhones should have a breathyliser fitted before allowing access. I suppose I should be grateful that my ex wasn’t the recipient as intended, although regrettably it seems I have hit on you instead! If possible, can we please ignore my drunken message and carry on with our friendship. I am more than prepared for having the piss taken out of me!’

I’m cringing 😂

Just don’t mention it again unless he does. If he ices you out a bit you’ll have no reason to discuss it anyway. If he’s interested he’ll make it clear. You may be sad to lose the friendship but if you love him the friendship will only ever be tinged with pain for you as it’s second best to what you really want. Friends celebrate when their friend meets someone and falls in love, imagine how it’d feel for you to see that happen to him? You weren’t true friends if it’s only been a few months, the reason you’ll miss him is because you have feelings for him but if he doesn’t have feelings back it’s far better for it to have come out and know for sure and move on without being close.

Style it out

You're so drunk you don't remember doing a thing!

Act completely normal

As if you never sent it

Awh you know what, brave it out! There’s something so strong about being openly vulnerable like that.

Mutual feelings or not, he’s lucky to know someone like you.

You’ll be fine. Admit it, apologise for putting him on the spot if you have to but hold your head high, not everyone is daring enough to put their heart on the line. Go you!

Have you seen him today, OP? How did it go?

He was amazing about it all.
Before I could even say anything he just said that he merely read the bit about the too much gin and thought it may be best not to read on. Not that I think he didn't, but it was a lovely, clear way to say 'this never happened'.
And we were talking again as normal afterwards, chatting away.
It's all good

@Elfsie
I’m so pleased he has been such a gent about it, and you’re feeling ok.
We’ve all sent drunk texts, saying the things we wouldn’t usually when we’re sober.
I sent one to my ex about a month ago (we’d only broken up a month before) he never replied or acknowledged it. I left it. I sometimes wonder if I should have followed it up. But I guess luckily for me, I’m probably not going to see him again! 😂

Hurrah for social mores. Elegantly handled by him and well done for not hiding, op .

He dealt with that really well.

What a great guy! Of course he read it, but it’s lovely he’s handed you such a beautifully easy ‘out’ on a plate like that.

What a lovely guy and a good friend 😊

Yay! Top chap. Glad your friendship hasn't been affected by it. :)

Things have continued to go well today, so he didn't just put on an act to save my face. The funny thing is, I think the message has brought us closer somehow. He talks to me more, gets closer than he ever has done.

I'm not reading anything into it (I really don't think he sees me that way), but maybe he did appreciate the drunken honesty.

Thanks everyone who virtually held my hand through this.