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Original poster

She has a girlfriend and I'm jealous ..how to get over her?

18 replies

laura33new · 09/12/2018 09:13

I really like this woman and have done for about 18 months.
At the time she was single and I kinda got the impression she liked me too.
I never told her and she thought I was totally straight.
Now she's back with her ex and has been for a year.
Her and ex had been split over 3 years but were together for around 3 years.
Now I'm watching her snapchats of her with her girlfriend and I'm so jealous.
I wish I just told her back then when I think she liked me.
Such an idiot.
How to get over her,?

OP posts:
Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 10:44

Anybody ?

OP posts:
landgirl1 · 09/12/2018 10:47

Honestly?blunt answer? Sounds like a Lucky escape from the heartbreak of being the rebound GF .

cancla · 09/12/2018 10:47

There is nothing to get over. It's a crush. Not a relationship.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 11:59

I just meant getting over the crush.

OP posts:
Sweepington · 09/12/2018 12:05

I agree with PP. You wouldve been a rebound and these things hardly last.
Not much you can do about the crush, time will dampen it.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 12:10

Even after 3 years would it still be a rebound?
I think she's the only relationship she's had with a woman was her.
I do know this woman went on to have another 2 year relationship with someone else (god I sound like a stalker Grin)

OP posts:
Sweepington · 09/12/2018 12:13

Sorry OP I misread Blush

Orange6904 · 09/12/2018 12:29

Stop looking at their social media and focus on yourself I suppose. It is coming across a bit stalkerish sorry.

Good luck. :)

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 12:31

I'm not intentionally looking,if she sends me snaps I have to open them..although I did have a tiny nosey on the girls Facebook

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 09/12/2018 12:37

So you are intentionally looking.

If you can't cope with social media interaction then remove yourself from it, or unfriend her. You don't have to look at anything.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 12:38

I'm just kicking myself that I never let on I liked her when we both were single and she was hinting that she liked me.
So annoyed with myself.

OP posts:
RhubarbTea · 09/12/2018 12:45

Did you post about this a couple of times, when you were considering saying something and then found out she was back with her ex, and then again since then saying you can't get over it? If so, I remember you.
I think you are unable to move on because you blame yourself for not acting, you have convinced yourself that IF you had said something she would now be yours and you would be happy together. So you are stuck in a spiral of self-recrimination and blame because you have given yourself all the power in this imaginary scenario and you now feel you should also have the power to 'fix' it.

The reality is that even if you said said you liked her, it may well not have ended up with anything other than her saying she wasn't interested and you feeling mildly/hugely embarrassed. That would have been the end of it. I am like you and I have a tendency to obsess about stuff including what-ifs, but it's not healthy and it's also likely that the tendency to obsess has more to do with you than the thing you are obsessing about. If you dig deeper you may find it is a distraction, a way of lumping all your problems onto one thing ("If only I had X or Y I would be happy") and a way of avoiding the real issues going on under the surface. If they've been together a year and you still can't get over it, I would personally get a bit of counselling to see what is really going on for you. You'd probably find it really helpful and it would hasten the process of moving on.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 13:25

I think I'm just fed up of being alone.
I'm the only single one now out of my friends and it's upsetting.
Constantly thinking what's wrong with me etc
I think she was just a distraction in my head

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 09/12/2018 13:29

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

Hit the clubs!

CupsAndPentacles · 09/12/2018 13:35

How come you never even tested the waters by letting her know that you are not straight?

You could have let her know, and seen her reaction, but you chose not even to risk letting her know you are not straight. Sounds like you werent prepared to let your guard down to her, not even a tiny bit.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 13:39

I was embarrassed,still am.
Nobody knows that I like women as well as men.
Not sure im gonna be able to ever tell anyone.
When she was telling me she was gay and looking for someone ,she even asked me for a drink I just kept pushing the fact I liked men,dating men etc
I'm an idiot

OP posts:
CupsAndPentacles · 09/12/2018 13:44

Maybe you didnt want her to be your test run. Which sounds smarter than ur giving yrslf credit for.

You still have her in yr life.

Original poster
laura33new · 09/12/2018 14:40

Not sure I'm that clever ha ha

OP posts:
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