DP and STI

[AllStar14]

This is extremely outing but I need opinions.

I recently found out I have herpes, the pain has been worse than recovering from birth but it's finally getting better. I had swabs taken by a nurse who said the most common cause was coldsores and asked if my DP had had one. Funnily enough he had a few months back but I had forgotten about it.

I told him what she had said and he has been a complete twat ever since. He says I could have caught it years ago and I'm just having a breakout now. Fair enough, it's a possibility but the most likely cause was his coldsore. I haven't blamed him or been pissed off with him about it; it's not nice but these things happen. His reaction is what is bothering me. This morning he has said he now has painful blisters (honestly, I don't believe him - he has form for lying) and that this means it couldn't have come from his coldsore! Wtf? I honestly think he has made up having them to argue that it couldn't possibly have come from his coldsore. I don't get his reasoning at all! I said that doesn't tell us anything, how hard is it to understand that I could have passed it on to him after getting it from his coldsore? He is making me feel like I'm stupid for not getting what he is saying.

I hope this all makes sense! I just need reassuring that I'm not missing something here. I've got an STI and feel shit about that, had no sympathy from DP and in fact was told it's disgusting when it most likely came from him!

The nurse said the lab results will say if it came from the oral virus anyway so I will know one way or the other soon.

@NotANotMan not true I had a random outbreak on my butt crack of type 1, never so much as had a cold sore in my life. Fuck me that was painful. Agony.

Doctor said you can have the virus lay dormant for years. I was very run down with an illness that affected my nerves. Then what do you know, ass crack herpes.

@Shepherdspieisminging

Well that is pretty unlikely given he had a cold sore already! While not impossible to have a random outbreak (my ass will attest to this), it would be very unusual unless you were sick like I was.

If he has genital herpes and has passed that to op then it sounds like he's had it before, as his outbreak is minor. This sounds like OP's first if it is really painful and a large outbreak.

I'd be pissed off in either scenario. If he has given her type one through his cold sore he shouldn't have been anywhere near her with it!
Type two and he's knowingly passed on an STI.

There are two different herpes virus (I know as I have had my blood tested and I have both). Although you can get genital herpes on your mouth - so even if you test positive for genital herpes then he could still have given it to you.

I think it's pretty much a given that he's passed herpes to her since he is a known carrier. It doesn't mean he has cheated. The point is that he's being an arsehole about it.

Yep, it is the being an arsehole part of this that is the problem. My arse crack was not left unaffected by this so I feel your pain! As an isolated incident it's not great, but combined with all the other shit it's made me realise what I need to do.

No advice but lots of sympathy. 💐💐. Hope things improve for you soon.