Handhold please

[Bumbelinadance]

With ex 4 years
Loved him very much
Stood by him through a lot
Adored his D.C.
believed him when he said he loved me and my Ds
Was blindsided a year ago when he dumped me via ghosting
He left me with significant debt and facing criminal allegations as a result
( I endured a horrible criminal trial , eventually all charges were dropped but he left me alone to cope and it only happened as our finances were entwined )

He told me a year ago he had met somebody who is “ everything I am not “ . His final email rewrote history .
It hurt horribly and I lost all self esteem and confidence
I was struggling as a result .. my legal costs were High

Found out today through a mutual “ freind “ he has gotten engaged to new woman
This stupidly led me to an internet stalking session...lots of photos of him and her in same locations I went to with him . She looks like a nice woman , a vulnerable singlemother as I was

I really have tried to date and move on
Bit it still after all this time hurts
The betrayal was so painful
I think I am a strong woman but it floored me

I feel old ,ugly , insignificant
I don’t want to be bitter Or nasty
I genuinely wish no ill way to this lady and hate the idea of anybody enduring what I have
I loved this guy so much and am really struggling to see tonight he was so happy whilst I was going through so much at his hands

Can anybody hold my hand . .?
My family and Freinds response is always .. he was a bastard move on
But it’s hard

Anything like that will knock you for six.

It was inevitable, it always is with these men.
People always say “he’s a shit move on” but I know it’s much harder than that.

Just sending you support. There isn’t much you can do other than endure and know you’ll get out the other side, it’s just a short blip. You’ve come far enough already.

You are none of those things you think. at all. And deep down I hope you know that

Thankyiu so much travis

It’s the photos of the same locations , I thought these were special places
I accept I did it to myself by looking
4 years is a long time I think . I should have mattered .

There are photos you could superimpose my face or dc face and I have identikit photos
It’s like I never happened though . I literally feel I didn’t exist

Social media can be awful as the dates show up
They were dates I was truly struggling going through a terrible trial that only happened as my name was linked to his
My family and Freinds expect me to be as strong as I always have been
( and I am strong . Even in the darkest moments I thought only only of our children )
I slept in a cell until an amazing freind posted bail
I got £60 compensatory,my dc 11 left alone the first night

I escaped a criminal record but have a nice arrest record
This lady probabably has no idea the same engagement ring she posts on Facebook was taken from me as “ personal artifacts “

She looks so polished
Confident
In the house I called home , the children I loved . The Freinds I knew . The plane I loved , the boat that carries my name
I am so broken
Struggling
I have no glamour

I feel so shit seeing these photos

Their world is a facade, a house of cards. These muppets can't sustain normality. They are a heart, juvenile, unable to adult. It's shit, it's painful, we hear you, holding your hand OP xx

I strongly believe in karma. He will get what he deserves